John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

suddenly afraid to trust love. The painful memories of being rejected begin to surface when we 
are faced with trusting and accepting our partner's love. 
 
Whenever we are loving ourselves more or being loved by others, repressed feelings tend to 
come up and temporarily overshadow our loving awareness. They come up to be healed and 
released. We may suddenly become irritable, defensive, critical, resentful, demanding, numb, 
or angry. 
 
Feelings that we could not express in our past suddenly flood our consciousness when we are 
safe to feel. Love thaws out our repressed feelings, and gradually these unresolved feelings 
begin to surface into our relationship. 
 
It is as though your unresolved feelings wait until you are feeling loved, and then they come up 
to be healed. We are all walking around with a bundle of unresolved feelings, the wounds from 
our past, that he dormant within us until the time comes when we feel loved. Then, when we 
feel safe to be ourselves, our hurt feelings come up. 
 
If we can successfully deal with those feelings, then we feel much better and enliven more of 
our creative, loving potential. If, however, we get into a fight and blame our partner instead of 
healing our past, we just get upset and then suppress the feelings again. 
 
How Repressed Feelings Come Up 
 
The problem is that repressed feelings don't come up saying "Hi, I am your unresolved feelings 
from the past." If your feelings of abandonment or rejection from childhood start coming up, 
then you will feel you are being abandoned or rejected by your partner. The pain of the past is 
projected onto the present. Things that normally would not be a big deal hurt a lot.