"This house is always a mess" translated into Martian means "Today I feel like relaxing, but the
house is so messy. I am frustrated and I need a rest. I hope you don't expect me to clean it all
up. Would you agree with me that it is a mess and then offer to help clean up part of it?"
Without this translation, when a woman says "This house is always a mess" a man may hear
"This house is a mess because of you. I do everything possible to clean it up, and before I have
finished, you have messed it up again. You are a lazy slob and I don't want to live with you
unless you change. Clean up or clear out!"
"No one listens to me anymore" translated into Martian means "I am afraid I am boring to you. I
am afraid you are no longer interested in me. I seem to be very sensitive today. Would you give
me some special attention? I would love it. I've had a hard day and feel as though no one wants
to hear what I have to say.
"Would you listen to me and continue to ask me supportive questions such as: 'What happened
today? What else happened? How did you feel? What did you want? How else do you feel?'
Also support me by saying caring, acknowledging, and reassuring statements such as: 'Tell me
more' or 'That's right' or 'I know what you mean' or 'I understand.' Or just listen, and
occasionally when I pause make one of these reassuring sounds: 'oh, ' 'humph,' 'uh-huh,' and
'hmmm.' (Note: Martians had never heard of these sounds before arriving on Venus.)
Without this translation, when a woman says "No one listens to me anymore" he may hear "I
give you my attention but you don't listen to me. You used to. You have become a very boring
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