It happened over 300 years in Holland

Nasreddin and the Beggar

O ne day, Nasreddin was up on the roof of his house, mending a hole in the tiles. He had nearly finished, and he was pleased with his work. Suddenly, he heard a voice below call "Hello!" When he looked down, Nasreddin saw an old man in dirty clothes standing below.

"What do you want?" asked Nasreddin.

"Come down and I'll tell you," called the man.

Nasreddin was annoyed, but he was a polite man, so he put down his tools. Carefully, he climbed all the way down to the ground.

"What do you want?" he asked, when he reached the ground.

"Could you spare a little money for an old beggar?" asked the old man. Nasreddin thought for a minute.

Then he said, "Come with me." He began climbing the ladder again. The old man followed him all the way to the top. When they were both sitting on the roof, Nasreddin turned to the beggar.

"No," he said.

Nasreddin the Ferry Man

N asreddin once had an old boat, which he used to ferry people across the river. One day, he was taking a university professor to the other side.

"What is the square root of 9?" asked the professor.

"I don't know," answered Nasreddin.

"How do you spell elephant?" asked the professor.

"I have no idea," replied Nasreddin.

"Didn't you study anything at school?" demanded the professor, surprised.

"No," said Nasreddin.

"Then you wasted half your life," said the professor.

Nasreddin was silent for a little while. Then he said:

"Can you swim?"

"No," said the professor.

"Then you wasted ALL of your life," said Nasreddin. "We are sinking."

Nasreddin's Visitors

One day a visitor came to Nasreddin's house. "I am your cousin from Konya," he said, "and I have brought you a duck to celebrate the visit." Nasreddin was delighted. He asked his wife to cook the duck, and served the visitor a fine dinner.

The next day another visitor arrived. "I am the friend of the man who brought you the duck," he said. Nasreddin invited him in and gave him a good meal. The next day another visitor arrived, and said he was the friend of the friend of the man who had brought the duck. Again Nasreddin invited him in for a meal. However, he was getting annoyed. Visitors seemed to be using his house as a restaurant.

Then another visitor came, and said he was the friend of the friend of the friend of the man who had brought the duck. Nasreddin invited him to eat dinner with him. His wife brought some soup to the table and the visitor tasted it. "What kind of soup is this?" asked the visitor. "It tastes just like warm water." "Ah!" said Nasreddin, "That is the soup of the soup of the soup of the duck."

Nasruddin, ferrying a pedant across a piece of rough water, said something ungrammatical to him. "Have you never studied grammar?" asked the scholar.

"No."
"Then half your life is wasted."
A few minutes later Nasruddin turned to the passenger.
"Have you ever learned how to swim?"
"No. Why?"
"Then all your life is wasted-we are sinking!"

Nasruddin used to take his donkey across a frontier every day, with the panniers loaded with straw. Since he admitted to being a smuggler when he trudged home every night, the frontier guards searched him again and again. They searched his person, sifted the straw, steeped it in water, even burned it from time to time. Meanwhile he was visibly more and more prosperous.
Then he retired and went to live in another country. Here one of the customs officers met him, years later.
"You can tell me now, Nasruddin," he said. "Whatever was it that you were smuggling, when we could never catch you out?"
"Donkeys," said Nasruddin.

A king who enjoyed Nasruddin's company, and also liked to hunt, commanded him to accompany him on a bear hunt. Nasruddin was terrfied.
When Nasruddin returned to his village, someone asked him:"How did the hunt go?"
"Marvelously."
"How many bears did you see?"
"None."
"How could it have gone marvelously, then?"
"When you are hunting bears, and when you are me, seeing no bears at all is a marvelous experience.

Nasruddin called at a large house for charity. The servant said,"My master is out."
"Very well,"said the Mulla; "even though he has not been able to contribute, please give your master a piece of advice from me. Say: 'Next time you go out, don't leave your face at the window-someone might steal it.'"

A kinsman came to see the Mulla from somewhere deep in the country, bringing a duck as a gift. Delighted, Nasruddin had the bird cooked and shared it with his guest. Presently, however, one countryman after another started to call, each one "the friend of the friend of the man who brought you the duck." No further presents were forthcoming.
At length the Mulla was exasperated. One day yet another stranger appeared. "I am the friend of the friend of the friend of the relative who brought you the duck."
He sat down, like all the rest, expecting a meal. Nasruddin handed him a bowl of water.
"What is this?"
"That is the soup of the soup of the duck which was brought by my relative."

"I shall have you hanged," said a cruel and ignorant king to Nasruddin, "if you do not prove such deep perceptions such as have been attributed to you." Nasruddin at once said that he could see a golden bird in the sky and demons within the earth. "But how can you do this?" the King asked. "Fear," said the Mulla "is all you need."

Nasruddin was throwing handfuls of bread all around his house. "What are you doing?" someone asked.
"Keeping the tigers away."
"But there are no tigers around here"
"Exactly. Effective, isn't it?"