John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by
Many people give up when relationships become too difficult. Relationships become easier
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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus
- Bu sahifa navigatsiya:
- What To Do And What Not To Do
Many people give up when relationships become too difficult. Relationships become easier
when we understand our partner's primary needs. Without giving more but by giving what is required we do not bum out. This understanding of the twelve different kinds of love finally explains why our sincere loving attempts fail. To fulfill your partner, you need to learn how to give the love he or she primarily needs. LEARNING TO LISTEN WITHOUT GETTING ANGRY The number one way a man can succeed in fulfilling a woman's primary love needs is through communication. As we have discussed before, communication is particularly Important on Venus. By learning to listen to a woman's feelings, a man can effectively shower a woman with caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. One of the biggest problems men have with listening to women is that they become frustrated or angry because they forget that women are from Venus and that they are supposed to communicate differently. The chart below outlines some ways to remember these differences and makes some suggestions about what to do. HOW TO LISTEN WITHOUT GETTING ANGRY What To Remember What To Do And What Not To Do 1. Remember anger comes from not understanding her point of view, and this is never her fault. 1. Take responsibility to under stand. Don't blame her for upsetting you. Start again trying to understand. 2. Remember that feelings don't always make sense right away, but they're still valid and need 2. Breathe deeply, don't say any thing! Relax and let go of trying to control. Try to imagine how 88 empathy. you would feel if you saw the world through her eyes. 3. Remember that anger may come from not knowing what to do to make things better. Even if she doesn't immediately feel better, your listening and understanding are helping. 3. Don't blame her for not feeling better from your solutions. How can she feel better when solutions are not what she needs? Resist the urge to offer solutions. 4. Remember you don't have to agree to understand her point of view or to be appreciated as a good listener. 4. If you wish to express a differing point of view make sure she is finished and then rephrase her point of view before giving your own. Do not raise your voice. 5. Remember you don't fully have to understand her point of view to succeed in being a good listener. 5. Let her know you don't understand but want to. Take responsibility for not understanding; don't judge her or imply she can't be understood. 6. Remember you are not responsible for how she feels. She may sound as though she is blaming you, but she is really trying to be understood. 6. Refrain from defending yourself until she feels that you understand and care. Then it is OK gently to explain yourself or to apologize. 7. Remember that if she makes you really angry she is probably mistrusting you. Deep inside her is a scared little girl who is afraid of opening up and being hurt and who needs your kindness and compassion. 7. Don't argue with her feelings and opinions. Take time out and discuss things later when there is less emotional charge. Practice the Love Utter technique as described in chapter 11. Download 1.37 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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