he's never been taught. Response Letters are the best way to teach a man about a woman's
needs. Slowly, but surely, he will learn.
Sometimes women ask me "lf I tell him what I want to hear, and he starts saying it, how do I
know he is not just saying it? I'm afraid he may not really mean it."
This is an important question. If a man doesn't love a woman he will not even bother to give
her what she needs. If he even attempts to give a response similar to her request, then most
likely he is really trying to respond.
If he doesn't sound fully sincere it's because he is learning something new. Learning a new way
of responding is awkward. To him it may feel weak. This is a critical time. He needs lots of
appreciation and encouragement. He needs feedback telling him he's on the right track.
If his attempts to support her seem somewhat insincere, it is usually because he is afraid his
efforts will not work. If a woman appreciates his attempt, the next time he will feel more secure
and thus be able to be more sincere. A man is not a fool. When he feels that a woman is
receptive to him and that he can respond in a way that makes a positive difference, he will do
it. It just takes time.
Women as well can learn a lot about men and what they need by hearing a man's Response
Letter. A woman is generally perplexed by a man's reactions to her. She has no idea why he
rejects her attempts to support him. She misunderstands what he needs. Sometimes she resists
him because she thinks he wants her to give up herself. In most cases, however, he really wants
her to trust, appreciate, and accept him.
To receive support we not only have to teach our partners what we need but we also have to be
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