When a woman realizes she has been giving too much, she tends to blame her partner for their
unhappiness. She feels the injustice of giving more than she has received.
Although she has not received what she deserved, to improve her relationships she needs to
recognize how she contributed to the problem. When a woman gives too much she should not
blame her partner. Similarly, a man who gives less should not blame his partner for being
negative or unreceptive to him. In both cases, blaming does not work.
Understanding, trust, compassion, acceptance, and support are the solution, not blaming our
partners. When this situation occurs, instead of blaming his female partner for being resentful,
a man can be compassionate and offer his support even if she doesn't ask for it, listen to her
even if at first it sounds like blame, and help her to trust and open up to him by doing little
things for her to show that he cares.
Instead of blaming a man for giving less, a woman can accept and forgive her partner's
perfections, especially when he disappoints her, trust that he wants to give more when he
doesn't offer his support, and encourage him to give more by appreciating what he does give
and continuing to ask for his support.
SETTING AND RESPECTING LIMITS
Most important, however, a woman needs to recognize her boundaries of what she can give
without resenting her partner. Instead of expecting her partner to even the score, she needs to
keep it even by regulating how much she gives.
Let's look at an example. Jim was thirty-nine and his wife, Susan, was forty-one when they
came for counselling. Susan wanted a divorce. She complained that she had been giving more
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