John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by


him to follow my advice. He wanted her to trust that he knew what to do!


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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

him to follow my advice. He wanted her to trust that he knew what to do! 
 
While men want to be trusted, women want caring. When a man says to a woman "What's the 
matter, honey?" with a concerned look on his face, she feels comforted by his caring. When a 
woman in a similar caring and concerned way says to a man "What's the matter, honey?" he may 
feel insulted or repulsed. He feels as though she doesn't trust him to handle things. 
 
It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be 
pitied. A woman may say "I am so sorry I hurt you." He will say "It was no big deal" and push 
away her support. She on the other hand loves to hear him say "I'm sorry I hurt you." She then 
feels he really cares. Men need to find ways to show they care while women need to find ways 
to show they trust. 
 
Too Much Caring Is Smothering 
 
When I first married Bonnie, the night before I would leave town to teach a weekend seminar, 
she would ask me what time I was getting up. Then she would ask what time my plane left. 
Then she would do some mental figuring and warn me that I hadn't left enough time to catch 
my plane. Each time she thought she was supporting me, but I didn't feel it. I felt offended. I 
had been traveling around the world for fourteen years teaching courses, and I had never 
missed a plane. 
 
Then in the morning, before I left, she asked me a string of questions such as, "Do you have 
your ticket? Do you have your wallet? Do you have enough money? Did you pack socks? Do 
you know where you are staying?" She thought she was loving me, but I felt mistrusted and 
was annoyed. Eventually I let her know that I appreciated her loving intention but that I didn't 

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