John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

When misunderstandings arise, remember that we speak different languages; take the time 
necessary to translate what your partner really means or wants to say. This definitely takes 
practice, but it is well worth it. 

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58 
Chapter 6 
 
Men Are 
Like Rubber Bands 
 
Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come 
springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. 
This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again. 
 
Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he 
needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is 
not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle. 
 
Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different 
reasons. She pulls back when she doesn't trust him to understand her feelings, when she has 
been hurt and is afraid of being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and 
disappointed her. 
 
Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if she has 
done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her; and then suddenly he begins to pull away. 
Like a stretched rubber band, he will distance himself and then come back all on his own. 
 
A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy. When he has fully 
stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then