John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

women know about men. 
 
Maggie realized that when she was trying to get close while Jeff was trying to pull away, she 
was actually preventing him from stretching his full distance and then springing back. By 
running after him, she was preventing him from ever feeling that he needed her and wanted to 
be with her. She realized that she had done this in every relationship. Unknowingly she had 
obstructed an important cycle. By trying to maintain intimacy she had prevented it. 
 
How a Man Is Suddenly Transformed 
 
If a man does not have the opportunity to pull away, he never gets a chance to feel his strong 
desire to be close. It is essential for women to understand that if they insist on continuous 
intimacy or "run after" their intimate male partner when he pulls away, then he will almost 
always be trying to escape and distance himself; he will never get a chance to feel his own 
passionate longing for love. 
 
In my seminars I demonstrate this with a big rubber band. Imagine that you are holding a 
rubber band. Now begin stretching your rubber band by pulling it to your right. This particular 
rubber band can stretch twelve inches. When the rubber band is stretched twelve inches there 
is nowhere left to go but back. And when it returns it has a lot of power and spring. 
 
Likewise, when a man has stretched away his full distance, he will return with a lot of power 
and spring. Once he pulls away to his limit, he begins to go through a transformation. His 
whole attitude begins to shift. This man who did not seem to care about or be interested in his 
partner (while he was pulling away) suddenly cannot live without her. He is now feeling again 
his need for intimacy. His power is back because his desire to love and be loved have been