place.
Imagine what happens to the rubber band. The rubber band becomes limp. Its power and
stretch are gone. There is no longer any movement. This is exactly what happens to a man's
desire to get close after intimacy has been achieved.
Even though this closeness is fulfilling to a man, he will inevitably begin to go through an
inner shift. He will begin to feel the urge to pull away. Having temporarily fulfilled his hunger
for intimacy, he now feels his hunger to be independent, to be on his own. Enough of this
needing another person. He may feel he has become too dependent or may not know why he
feels a need to pull away.
Why Women Panic
As Jeff instinctively pulls away without any explanation to Maggie (or to himself), Maggie
reacts with fear. She panics and runs after him. She thinks she has done something wrong and
has turned him off. She imagines he is expecting her to re-establish intimacy. She is afraid he
will never come back.
To make matters worse, she feels powerless to get him back because she doesn't know what she
did to turn him off. She doesn't know that this is just a part of his intimacy cycle. When she
asks him what's the matter, he doesn't have a clear answer, and so he resists talking about it. He
just continues to distance her even more.
Why Men and Women Doubt Their Love
Without an understanding of this cycle it is easy to see how men and women begin to doubt
their love. Without seeing how she was preventing Jeff from finding his passion, Maggie could
easily assume that Jeff didn't love her. Without getting the chance to pull away, Jeff would lose
touch with his desire and passion to be close. He could easily assume that he no longer loved
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