To a certain extent a man loses himself through connecting with his partner. By feeling her
needs, problems, wants, and emotions he may lose touch with his own sense of self. Pulling
away allows him to re-establish his personal boundaries and fulfill his need to feet
autonomous.
Some men, however, may describe this pulling away differently. To them it is just a feeling of
"I need some space" or "I need to be alone." Regardless of how it is described, when a man pulls
away, he is fulfilling a valid need to take care of himself for a while.
Just as we do not decide to be hungry, a man does not decide to pull away. It is an instinctual
urge. He can only get so close, and then he begins to lose himself. At this point he begins to feel
his need for autonomy and begins to pull away. By understanding this process, women can
begin correctly to interpret this pulling away.
Why Men Pull Away When Women Get Close
For many women, a man tends to pull away precisely at the time when she wants to talk and be
intimate. This occurs for two reasons.
1. A woman will unconsciously sense when a man is pulling away and precisely at those times
she will attempt to re-establish their intimate connection and say "Let's talk." As he continues to
pull away, she mistakenly concludes that he doesn't want to talk or that he doesn't care for her.
2. When a woman opens up and shares deeper and more intimate feelings it may actually
trigger a man's need to pull away. A man can only handle so much intimacy before his alarm
bells go off, saying it is time to find balance by pulling away. At the most intimate moments a
man may suddenly automatically switch to feeling his need for autonomy and pull away.
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