John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by


they are nurturing him when they abstain from offering unsolicited advice to solve his


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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

they are nurturing him when they abstain from offering unsolicited advice to solve his 
problems. He needs her loving support but in a different way than she thinks. To withhold 
correcting a man or trying to improve him are ways to nurture him. Giving advice can be 
nurturing only if he directly asks for it. 
 
A man looks for advice or help only after he has done what he can do alone. If he receives too 
much assistance or receives it too soon, he will lose his sense of power and strength. He 
becomes either lazy or insecure. Instinctively men support one another by not offering advice 
or help unless specifically approached and asked. 
 
In coping with problems, a man knows he has to first go a certain distance by himself, and then 
if he needs help he can ask for it without losing his strength, power, and dignity. To offer help 


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to a man at the wrong time could easily be taken as an insult. 
 
When a man is carving the turkey for Thanksgiving and his partner keeps offering advice on 
how and what to cut, he feels mistrusted. He resists her and is determined to do it his way on 
his own. On the other hand, if a man offers her assistance in cutting the turkey she feels loved 
and cared for. 
 
When a woman suggests that her husband follow the advice of some expert, he may be 
offended. I remember one woman asking me why her husband got so angry at her. She 
explained to me that before sex she had asked him if he had reviewed his notes from a taped 
lecture by me on the secrets of great sex. She didn't realize this was the ultimate insult to him. 
Although he had appreciated the tapes, he didn't want her telling him what to do by reminding 

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