Love from a to Z

ADAM
SATURDAY, MARCH 16
MARVEL:
ENERGY
E
NERGY AFTER RESTING IN MY
own bed. With Dad and Hanna in the house.
Energized that my vision is better, that there is nothing disconnecting my
legs from me right now.
Energized with the knowledge I’ll be seeing Zayneb tomorrow, and we
aren’t complete strangers anymore.
With hopes that maybe we can be on our way to something more.

---

ZAYNEB
SATURDAY, MARCH 16
MARVEL:
COLLECTIVE POWER
E
XHIBIT
A: W
HAT
I 
FOUND
on the breakfast table.
I woke up to Auntie Nandy’s rendition of “Wild World.”
Finally, a seventies song I knew all the words to. The singer, Cat Stevens,
had become Muslim—in the seventies too—so any time one of his songs
came on the radio, Mom and Dad would point it out.
“ ‘Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world!’ ” I sang along with Auntie Nandy,
who was fixing breakfast. I brought the first plates she’d assembled on the
kitchen counter to the dining table.
A stuffed toy blue bird was sitting in the middle of the table.
“Do you recognize it?” Auntie Nandy came up behind me. “It was in the
box I found your mom’s burkini in. You left it here when you visited Doha
last.”
“Oh my God. It’s my Angry Bird, the Blues!” I picked it up. “I was
obsessed with collecting all of them when I was a kid, and this was my
favorite. Do you want to know why?”
“Because it’s the angriest?”
“No, because look.” I undid a zipper at the bottom of its stomach and
flipped it inside out. Three smaller plush birds emerged. “The Blues has the
power of three birds. It’s like a surprise attack in the video game! When you
strike it midlaunch, boom, three birds shoot out of the one, and bang, the
enemy’s setup gets mangled.”
“So it’s like a Trojan horse?”
“In a different way.” I hugged the Blues to me as I walked back to the
bedroom. “I’m taking this home with me. Thanks for keeping it.”

---

I sealed the three birds into one again and set it down beside Squish on
the night table. They looked like an odd couple together—one, pristine,
with colorful plush elements, including feathers, and the other . . . well,
Squish.
• • •
As we were getting ready to go to the Corniche, the waterfront promenade
that edged the coast in Doha, where the city met the waters of the Arabian
Gulf, Mom called.
She had news that gave me pause: Dad left to go to Pakistan today,
having gotten more information about Daadi’s death.
For the first time in a while my grandmother’s face held still in my head
for a long moment. But when I blinked again, into Mom’s face on Skype,
Daadi was gone from my mind’s eye.
“Was it something important, the news about Daadi?” I asked after Mom
told me a bunch of hows, including how Dad had learned there was new
information and how he’d left from Chicago and other particulars—other
than the news itself.
“No, don’t worry,” she answered. “Have fun in Doha,” she added with a
clearly disturbed expression.
“But why did Dad have to leave so suddenly?” I asked.
“It wasn’t sudden. He knew he’d have to go when there were things to
do.” Then she said bye, because she was prepping for her own trip to Doha.
Basically, she didn’t want me to know whatever it was that she and Dad
knew.
So, as soon as I got home from the Corniche, I called Sadia—my sister
who always tells me the truth.
I also wanted to talk to her about Adam.
• • •
Exhibit B: My sister, a part of my power pack.
Sadia is the closest one to Daadi’s personality in our family, so as soon as
she picked up and said, “My Zu-zu!” just like Daadi used to call me (except
Daadi said “meri Zu-zu”), I teared up.
Because Sadia was at her fiancé’s parents’ place and said she couldn’t
talk long, I asked her point-blank, “Why did Dad suddenly leave for

---

Pakistan?”
“I don’t know. Really.” She looked earnestly at me, her eyes wide and
free of all secrets.
But she’s always like that. Pure Hufflepuff.
So I tried again. “Did you find out any other information?”
“No, I’m in the dark too. Mom said that Dad got a call that they wanted
him to fill some paperwork now that new information had come up about
Daadi’s death.” Sadia peered at me, her usually smiley, long mouth turned
down. She shook her head and exclaimed, “Zu-Zu, take a deep breath.
Please. It will be okay.”
“Okay.” I actually did do as she asked, taking a breath and letting it out
slowly. I mean, what else can it be? It’s already horrendous, her dying like
that. In a car accident.
I closed my eyes.
“Tell me about Doha,” Sadia instructed. “I talked to Auntie Nandy the
other day when I called for you, but I want to hear from you.”
“It’s good.” I opened my eyes and looked at the calm beauty of my
sister’s face. She was back to smiling—encouragingly now, so I burst out
with it. “I met a guy. A Muslim guy. Who I really like. Don’t laugh, okay?”
“Why would I laugh?”
“I don’t know.” It felt different to talk to Sadia about Adam than it had
talking to Kavi. It felt like talking to my parents about it. Like it was
making it serious.
When nothing had even happened.
“But I really like him. I mean, from what I know of him so far.” I didn’t
look into the phone, at her eyes, pretending instead to clean my glasses.
“Is he cute?”
“Yeah, of course.” I put my glasses back on, sure she’d understand that