Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc
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English The Muslim Marriage Guide
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www.al-islamforall@org 17 shed another's blood, and struck yet another. Each one of these shall be given a portion of his good works, and should these be exhausted before his obligation is discharged, then he shall be assigned some of their sins, which will be heaped upon him. Then he shall be cast into Hell." ' (Muslim) The Blessed Prophet stressed so often that men must be careful to consider the rights of all Muslims, which includes their women, and not just their male brethren and friends. It is so easy for some husbands to forget that their wives are the people they are perhaps most likely to insult, abuse, consume the wealth of, or strike. Muslim men must not overlook the rights of their wives, or forget that their lapses will be recorded against them in their 'Record.' The Prophet (P.B.U.H) taught: 'I counsel you to be kind to your wives, for they are your helpers. You have taken them only as a trust from God, making their private parts lawful through a word.' One day Umar ibn al-Khattab said: 'O Messenger of God, what should I take from this world?' And he replied, 'Let each of you take a tongue that remembers God, a heart that thanks Him, and a wife who has faith.' (Maybudi, I, 613) The Prophet (P.B.U.H) placed a pious and worthy wife next to remembrance and gratitude to God. Imam Maybudi comments that one of the blessings of having a beloved and worthy spouse is that it allows a man more time to be free to engage in the work of the next world. `When you keep to your worship,' he observed, `if a boredom should appear such that the heart is wearied and you should fall behind in worship, looking at her and witnessing her gives intimacy and ease to the heart. That power of worship will then return, and you desire to obey God will be renewed.' The author can bear witness that, as usual, the same applies when a wife can look with love upon a pious husband! For Muslims, the Blessed Prophet is by definition the most perfect human being and the most perfect male. His love for women shows that the perfection of the human state is connected with love for the opposite sex, and this is part of love for God. If we cannot love the beings that we have seen and amongst whom we live, how can we claim to love Him Whom we have not seen, and Who lies beyond our powers of understanding? 'Three things of this world of yours have been made beloved to me: Women, and perfume, and the delight of my eye has been placed in the Salat.' (Nasa'i and Ibn Hanbal) Some pious folk try to insist that the sexual act should only be indulged in for the procreation of children, and not simply because it gives pleasure. This is not what is taught in Islam. In fact, Islam teaches that the joy given in the marital act is a sign of what is to come, a foretaste of the joy of Paradise. This is proved by the fact that the inhabitants of Heaven have sexual relations simply for pleasure, and not for the procreation of children. 'They shall dwell forever with what their souls desired.' (21:102) 'You will not have true faith till you love one another.' (Muslim.) 'My love is obligatory for those who love each other for My sake.' (Hadith Qudsi in Malik, Muwatta') 'Love for women is one of the things through which God favoured His Messenger (P.B.U.H); for He made him love them in spite of the fact that he had few children. Hence the desired goal was nothing but the marriage act itself, like the marriage act of the people of the Garden, which is strictly for pleasure and not for producing offspring.' (Ibn Arabi, Futuhat, II, 193) Occasionally, men argue that love of women is sinful because it distracts them from God. But would that which drew him away from God have been made lovable to the Blessed Prophet? Of course not. He loved only that which drew him closer to his Lord! In fact, a good woman is a source of ihsan; she is a fortress against Satan, and helps a man to keep to the Straight Path. The caliph Umar said: 'After belief in God, a man can have no better gift than a virtuous wife.' And Ibn Mas'ud used to say: 'If I had but ten days left to live, I would like to marry, so as not to meet God as a celibate.' This love that the Prophet (P.B.U.H) bore for The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood |
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