Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

 
6 The Good Husband 
'A believing man must never hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one trait in her, 
he will find another trait in her with which to be pleased.' (Hadith in Muslim) 
Respect can never be gained by simply telling someone to respect you. Respect has 
to be earned, by how you speak and how you act-in other words, through the total message 
of what you are. 
It is absolutely vital in a good Islamic marriage that the wife respect her husband, 
otherwise the marriage is going to be a miserable business. Since one of the basic ground-
rules of Islamic marriage is that the husband is the 'imam' and the head of the household, he 
has to prove himself worthy of that position. 
It is not true that a Muslim wife is expected to obey her husband in every single thing 
he says-there is a very important proviso. If the husband attempts to order her to do 
anything that clashes with Islam, it is her duty NOT to obey him, but to point this out 
(tactfully and gently), and to change his orders! 
Therefore, if the wife is to respect her man, he must do his utmost to be worthy 
of and to merit that respect. Many women, particularly in these days of 'women's lib,' 
wonder why it is that a man should ever be considered as head of the household. Most 
women know that most’ men have very little to do with the housework and routine side of 
things; some of them leave all the financial control of day-to-day expenditure to their 
wives, and sometimes even more important financial planning. It is the mother who usually 
has most to do with things as important and varied as training the children in good manners 
and sound belief and seeing that there is food to eat in the house, and things as trivial as 
seeing that there is a clean shirt, a pair of socks, that things are picked up and put away, 
that toilets get cleaned, and so forth. 
Once women have learned how to cope with all this, many of them do not see why 
they should regard their husbands as the head of the household. 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

---