Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Periods (hayd).
New husbands often haven't got a clue about these. The matter 
should be explained to them, or they may get worried and upset, and not know how to 
sympathise with the wife's symptoms. Husbands need to know that the wife may bleed from 
3 to 7 days in a period of time roughly corresponding to the lunar month, and that she may 
well be extra tired and weepy at these times. Women frequently suffer from PMT (pre-
menstrual tension) for anything up to a week before their period starts. If they do, they are 
likely to be bad-tempered, depressed, illogical, and suffer from psychological disorders, and 
some are even at extra risk from things as serious as driving accidents, or moral disorders 
such as temptation to theft, etc. Sympathy is the best thing to offer-and make sure the wife 
has had medical advice. It is quite normal for doctors to recommend cutting down on salt 
(to limit water retention and bloating). 
Some women also experience considerable and serious physical pain at this time, 
and become sick and faint. Do not suffer in silence- go to a doctor. 
A woman is not 'dirty' during her period time unless she does not wash; the Prophet 
(P.B.U.H) recommended keeping up close contact with a menstruating wife, so that she did 
not feel hurt or rejected. 
His advice was to make sure she was well-covered between the navel and the knees, 
and to caress and enjoy her without penetration. 
A man questioned Allah's Messenger (P.B.U.H) saying: `What is permitted to me of 
my wife when she is menstruating?' He said: `Let her wrap her waist-wrapper round herself 
tightly, and then what is above that is for you.' (Malik, Muwatta') 
Polygamy (ta'addud al-zawjat).
Islam did not institute plural marriages, but 
acknowledged that they are sometimes of value, restricting the maximum number of wives 
to four: 
'Marry women that seem good to you, two or three or four; but if you fear that you 
shall not be able to deal justly (between them), then only one.' (4:3) 
Polygamy can be a useful and caring way of resolving serious difficulties. It can be a 
solution, for instance, when a wife is suffering from a disease such as paralysis which 
prevents the husband fulfilling his needs, and consumes his time with caring for her. It can 
help in situations where she is of unsound mind, or has a bad character that cannot be 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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