Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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reformed. And in social circumstances where women greatly outnumber men, as after a 
war, it can save thousands of women from being left 'on the shelf'-half a husband being 
preferable to none at all. 
Others, however, believe that Allah has in fact forbidden plural marriages, on the 
grounds that it is impossible for a man to deal justly between co-wives. 
'You will not be able to deal equally between wives, however much you may wish to.' 
(4:129.) 
Nonetheless, the fact that polygamy was part of the Prophet's Sunnah makes it 
impossible that he could have adopted this interpretation himself. But he counselled strict 
fairness in expenditure, allowances and time-sharing: 
'When a man has two wives and he does not observe equality and deal unfairly with 
them, he will come before the Throne of Justice with only half of his body.' (Hadith in 
Tirmidhi and Abu Daud) 
The Shari'ah tells us that the women should receive equal financial maintenance 
and be accommodated in separate but equal homes. Obviously, it is not permissible for 
more than one woman to be in one bed at any time. A happy polygamous relationship, 
perhaps a menage a trois in which one woman looks after the home while the other is free 
to work without feeling guilty, can be a source of great strength to the women. But given 
human nature, the pitfalls are many and varied, and no-one should enter upon this kind of 
marriage unless there is a compelling moral rather than a selfish reason for it, and the full 
and intelligent consent of all parties has been obtained. Anything else is likely to end in 
disaster. It is basic in Islam that no Muslim should ever deliberately hurt another-and that 
applies most certainly to one's first wife. 
Power Games.
No Muslim, male or female, is permitted to use or withhold sex to 
get their own way either as a bribe, or for barter. 
'Gentleness adorns everything, and its absence leaves everything tainted.' (Muslim) 
'If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the 
angels send their curses on her until morning.' (Bukhari). See 'Refusing Sex' below.