Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
46
HOW CAN I MAKE MY WOMAN HAPPY AND SATISFIED? 
It is important for men to realise that women are not all the same, but are 
actually individual living beings. They do not have automatic response mechanisms, 
but their responses are subtle and are triggered by all sorts of things. 
Contrary to a very common male myth, the love of a woman for a man has 
nothing to do with the size or shape of his private parts. Most women do not find the 
common male fixation with his size at all endearing, and might even be frightened by 
something they thought was too much for them (even though we all know that babies, 
some with heads the size of a grapefruit, have to come out of that same channel!). In 
any case, unless the erect member is less than three inches long it will still be 
perfectly capable of bringing her to orgasm, since the deeper parts of the vagina are 
not very sensitive. 
As regards the man's body, unexpected things like the shape of his arm, the 
fineness of his hands, the way he stands or walks, his hips, the strength of his legs, the 
nape of his neck, the fine hairs on his cheek-all these things stir a woman's longing 
response far more than contemplation of his actual sexual equipment. 
Basically, what attracts a woman most is man's manliness. It may even be his 
awkward shyness, or his cussed determination, or his ability to take command. 
Certainly, if the man is a good leader and dominant partner, the most wonderful thing 
about marriage with him will be his ability to 'descend from his lofty heights' and 
actually do and say things for no other reason than to please his wife. 
The little gift, the bunch of flowers, is a prime example. The woman doesn't 
actually care tuppence for the flowers-what gives her such wonderful pleasure is the 
thought that her man has actually taken the time and trouble to think about her. That 
is certainly one thing that would make her love him, so long as it is done in a Muslim 
way, and not as a bribe or other sweetener. 
`Give gifts to each other, and you will love each other.' (Bukhari.) 
There is a lovely story of the Blessed Prophet listening to eleven women. They 
all complained about their husbands, but the eleventh one, Umm Zar'a, said: 'I have no 
words enough to praise my husband. He has covered my ears with ornaments, and fed 
me so well that my lean and thin arms have become plump. In short, he has provided 
me with everything to keep me happy, and I am happy. I am very lucky... I talk to him 
freely and frankly, but he never objects. I sleep comfortably until the morning, and I eat 
delicious food.' Then the Blessed Prophet said to A'ishah: 'I am like Abu Zar'a for you!'