Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

 
HOW TO HELP A WIFE ACHIEVE SATISFACTION, PEACE AND LOVE 
It is all too easy for a man to be aroused and to charge into sexual intimacy, and, 
because of his excitement, for it all to be over in a matter of moments. If this is the 
case, the woman is likely to be frustrated and unhappy, even if she has not the courage 
or is too polite or shy to say so. If you are a man, and have just read the preceding 
paragraph, and it suddenly occurs to you that this is indeed what you do, but of course it 
doesn't apply to your wife-she is perfectly happy-then you would be well advised to stop 
and scrutinise the evidence. How often does she smile and show her contentment? How 
often does she hurry to please you in all sorts of little ways? How ungrudgingly does she 
do the boring and unpleasant chores of family life on your behalf? 
Given a good, attentive lover, she will do the most menial of tasks for him, 
cheerfully! But if he lacks attention, she will gradually be worn down by disappointment 
and resentment, and the whole pleasure of family life intended by God in His mercy 
towards us will wither away. 
Some men mistakenly believe that they cannot help being the way they are. In 
fact, they may have thought it a compliment to their wives that they are able to rouse 
themselves and fulfil their urges so speedily. This is nonsense. If you read any medical 
manual on the subject, you will discover that if a male reaches climax in less than 
three minutes after entering his woman, this is counted as `premature ejaculation' and 
is thought of as something that one has to make an effort to cure. 
On the medical level, there are some useful countermeasures for this common 
problem. Take a look, for instance, at the Islamic herbal remedies listed in Chisthi's The 
Traditional Healer, pages 276 (for impotence), and 278 (for premature ejaculation). 
Another useful way of solving the problem is to raise the significance of your 
intimacy by setting aside more time for it, rather than leaving it until last thing at night 
when you are exhausted. It is worth remembering that the traditional time for sex in 
many Muslim societies is not the night, but the afternoon siesta. This is not so easy if 
you are at work on a 9 to 5 job! But perhaps, occasionally, you could go to bed an hour 
earlier. It is highly insulting to a wife if the only attention she ever gets is an abrupt 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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