Shepherding a Child's Heart

Not the Right to Unbridled Temper
The biblical concept of the rod is not the right to unbridled

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temper. As we will discuss more fully in the second section of this
book, the rod must be used in the most carefully guarded, tightly
structured manner to avoid the possibility of abuse. Nowhere does
God give parents the right to throw temper fits at their children. Such
rage is ungodly and wicked. The Bible censures it. James 1:20 says:
“Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God
desires.”
Not the Right to Hit oOur Children Whenever We Wish
The biblical concept of the rod is not the right to hit our children
whenever we wish. The rod is used in the context of correction and
discipline. Again, it is not the right to use physical force whenever
and however one wishes. God warns against the danger of embittering
children in Ephesians 6. The parent who bullies his child physically
will surely embitter him.
Not Venting of Frustration
The biblical concept of the rod is not a way for parents to vent
their frustration with their children. I have never met a parent who has
not had moments of frustration with his children. There are times
when they exasperate you, leaving you hurt and angry. The rod is not
a way for you to vent your pent-up rage and frustration.
Not Retribution
The biblical concept of the rod is not the parent exacting
retribution for the child’s wrong. It is not payment due. Many parents
have a punitive mindset. They see discipline as the child paying for
his sins. Rather than correction having the positive goal of
restoration, it has the negative goal of payment. It is like the convict
paying his debt to society by doing time in prison. This is not a
biblical concept of discipline.