Shepherding a Child's Heart

I’m Afraid of Being Arrested for Child Abuse
There is measure of validity to this concern, although it is not
illegal to spank your children. What is illegal is child abuse, but a
properly administered spanking is not abusive. Obviously, in a society
that does not understand the Bible and equates spanking with abuse,
one must be wise. Spanking should be done in the privacy of the
home. It should not be a public matter. I might add here that public
spanking may add the idea of “shaming” to a spanking that should be
a private three-way event—God, parent, and child.
There may be circumstances outside the home in which you
choose to overlook behavior that you would not overlook if you were
at home. Parents have sometimes said to me, “If I make it a habit not
to discipline when we are away from home, my children will know
that and be impossible to handle.” When dealing with young children,
most of the time you will be at home and will have plenty of
opportunities to deal with these issues. You can always leave
wherever you are and go home if the issues are important enough to
necessitate leaving.
The Fruit of the Rod
The rod teaches outcomes to behavior. Consistent use of the rod
teaches your children to develop a harvest mentality; they learn that
they will reap what they sow. Young children must learn to obey.
When disobedience is met with uncomfortable consequences, they
learn that God has built the principle of sowing and reaping into their

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world.
The rod shows God’s authority over Mom and Dad. The parent
who uses the rod as a matter of obedience is being an example of
submission to authority. One of the reasons children have difficulty
with authority is that they do not see it modeled in our culture.
The rod trains a child to be under authority. The fact that there are
certain consequences to disobedience teaches the importance of
obedience. The child learns while still young that God has placed
everyone under authority and that authority structures are a blessing.
The rod demonstrates parental love and commitment. Hebrews 12
makes it clear that the rod is an expression of love. In verse 5,
discipline is a sign of sonship. The parent who disciplines shows he
loves his child. He is not an uninterested party. He is not ambivalent.
He is engaged and involved. His commitment runs deep—deep
enough to invest himself in careful discipline.
The rod yields a harvest of peace and righteousness. In Hebrews
12:11 we read, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace
for those who have been trained by it.” Timely, careful discipline,
while unpleasant and painful at the time, yields happy, successful
children.
The rod bears wonderful fruit. As a father of adult children, I am
continually thankful for God’s mercy to our family. Our first
exposure to the ideas that are set out in this chapter came when we
had only one child. He was an unruly 18-month-old who was on his
way to the terrible two’s! These principles gave us a way to deal with
our son. They enabled us to give him the security of discipline. They
enabled him to gain self-control. They helped him to respect and love
his mom and dad.
The rod returns the child to the place of blessing. Left to himself,
he would continue to live a lust-driven life. He would continue to seek
comfort in being a slave to his desires and fears. The rod of correction

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returns him to the place of submission to parents in which God has
promised blessing.
The rod promotes an atmosphere of closeness and openness
between parent and child. The parent who is engaging his child and
refusing to ignore things that challenge the integrity of their
relationship will experience intimacy with his child. When a child is
allowed to be sullen and disobedient, distance develops between the
parent and child. The parent who refuses to allow estrangement will
enjoy a close and open relationship.