Shepherding a Child's Heart

Appealing to the Conscience
Your correction and discipline must find their mark in the
conscience of your son or daughter. God has given children a
reasoning capacity that distinguishes issues of right and wrong. Paul
reminds us that even those who do not have the law of God show that
its requirements are written on their hearts when they obey the law
(Romans 2:12–16). They either excuse or accuse themselves in their
thoughts because of their conscience.
This God-given conscience is your ally in discipline and
correction. Your most powerful appeals will be those that smite the

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conscience. When the offended conscience is aroused, correction and
discipline can find their mark.
Two biblical illustrations elucidate this issue. Proverbs 23
justifies the use of the rod in correction. Verses 13 and 14 read: “Do
not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod,
he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from
death.” The rod, however, is not the only instrument of training in the
passage. There is another. It is appeal to the conscience. Earnest
entreaty fills this chapter of Proverbs:
“Don’t let your heart envy sinners … ” (v. 17).
“ … keep your heart on the right path … ” (v. 19).
“Listen to your father, who gave you life … ” (v. 22).
“Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and
understanding” (v. 23).
“My son, give me your heart … ” (v. 26).
The passage actually drips with sweet and tender entreaty that
appeals to the conscience. Is Solomon soft on the rod? No! But he
realizes the limitation of the rod. He knows that the rod gets the
attention, but the conscience must be plowed up and planted with the
truth of God’s ways.
Jesus’ interaction with the Pharisees provides another graphic
example of appeal to the conscience. In Matthew 21:23, the chief
priests and the elders challenge Christ’s authority. He responds with
the parable of the two sons:
“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He
went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the
vineyard.’
“ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and
went.

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“Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing.
He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.
“Which of the two did what his father wanted?”
“The first,” they answered.
Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the
prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For
John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you
did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did.
And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe
him.” (Matthew 21:28–32)
At the end of the parable he asks them a question that is directed
to their reasoning about right and wrong. They answer correctly.
He gives them another parable—the parable of the tenants and
vineyard owner:
“Listen to another parable: There was a landowner who planted a
vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a winepress in it and built
a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and
went away on a journey. When the harvest time approached, he
sent his servants to the tenants to collect his fruit.
“The tenants seized his servants; they beat one, killed another,
and stoned a third. Then he sent other servants to them, more
than the first time, and the tenants treated them the same way.
Last of all, he sent his son to them. ‘They will respect my son,’
he said.
“But when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, ‘This
is the heir. Come, let’s kill him and take his inheritance.’ So they
took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him.
“Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he
do to those tenants?”

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“He will bring those wretches to a wretched end,” they replied,
“and he will rent the vineyard to other tenants, who will give him
his share of the crop at harvest time.”
Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the Scriptures: ‘The
stone that the builders rejected has become the capstone; the
Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes?’
“Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away
from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit. He
who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom
it falls will be crushed.”
When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard Jesus’ parables,
they knew he was talking about them. They looked for a way to
arrest him, but they were afraid of the crowd because the people
held that he was a prophet .
(Matthew 21:33–46)
Note how Jesus appeals to their sense of right and wrong. He is
making his appeal to their consciences. “When the owner of the
vineyard comes, what will he do?”
He asks them to make a judgment. They judge correctly. Then he
shows them that they have indicted themselves. Verse 45 shows that
they got the point; Matthew says, “they knew that he was talking
about them … ”
Here is the pattern. Christ appeals to their conscience so they
cannot escape the implications of their sin. Thus, he deals with the
root problems, not just the surface issues.
Their original question in Matthew 21:23, “By what authority are
you doing these things and who gave you this authority?” sounded
like a question about the source of his authority. It was, however, a
challenge to his authority. His answer drew the battle lines. He
asserted that his authority was from God. While they did not repent,

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the challenge to the conscience made its mark. They knew he was
talking about them. They had indicted themselves.
This is your task in shepherding your children. You must make a
point of appealing to the conscience. To see them deal with the issues
of their Godward orientation, you must take correction beyond
behavior to addressing the issues of the heart. You address the heart
by exposing sin and appealing to the conscience as the God-given
adjudicator of right and wrong.
Recently, after a worship service, a man approached me in a state
of great agitation. He had observed a young boy stealing some money
from the offering plate after the church service. He felt genuine
concern for the boy. I suggested that he tell the boy’s father so that
the child could benefit from his father’s correction and intervention.
A few minutes later the boy and his father asked to see me in my
study. The child produced $2 and said he had taken it from the
offering plate. He was in tears, professing his sorrow and asking for
forgiveness.
I began to speak to him. “Charlie, I am so glad that someone saw
what you did. What a wonderful mercy of God that you did not get
away with this! God has spared you the hardness of heart that comes
when we sin and get by with it. Don’t you see how gracious he has
been to you?” He looked me in the eye and nodded.
“You know, Charlie,” I continued, “this is why Jesus came. Jesus
came because people like you and your father and me have hearts that
want to steal. You see, we are so bold and brazen that we would even
steal from the offerings that people have given to God. But God had
such love for wicked boys and men that he sent his Son to change
them from the inside out and make them people who are givers and
not takers.”
At this point, Charlie broke down in sobs and drew another $20
from his pocket. He had begun this brief conversation prepared to go
through the motions and give back two of the dollars he had taken.

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Something happened as he heard me speak of the mercy of God to
wicked sinners. There was no accusation in my tone. Neither his
father nor I knew there was more money. What happened? Charlie’s
conscience was smitten by the gospel! Something in what I said
struck a chord that resonated within his young, larcenous heart. The
gospel hit its mark in his conscience.