The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

The Avoidant Attitude. People with this attitude see the world
through the lens of their insecurities, generally related to doubts about
their competence and intelligence. Perhaps as children they were made
to feel guilty and uncomfortable with any efforts to excel and stand out
from siblings; or they were made to feel bad about any kind of mistake
or possible misbehavior. What they came to dread most was the
judgment of their parents. As these people get older, their main goal in
life is to avoid any kind of responsibility or challenge in which their
self-esteem might be at stake and for which they can be judged. If they
do not try too hard in life, they cannot fail or be criticized.
To enact this strategy they will constantly seek escape routes,
consciously or unconsciously. They will find the perfect reason for
leaving a job early and changing careers, or breaking off a relationship.
In the middle of some high-stakes project they will suddenly develop
an illness that will cause them to leave. They are prone to all kinds of
psychosomatic maladies. Or they become alcoholics, addicts of some
sort, always falling off the wagon at the right time but blaming this on
the “disease” they have, and their bad upbringing that caused their
addiction. If it weren’t for alcohol, they could’ve been a great writer or
entrepreneur, so they say. Other strategies will include wasting time
and starting too late on something, always with some built-in excuse
for why that happened. They then cannot be blamed for the mediocre
results.
These types find it hard to commit to anything, for a good reason. If
they remained at a job or in a relationship, their flaws might become
too apparent to others. Better to slip away at the right moment and
maintain the illusion—to themselves and to others—of their possible
greatness, if only . . . Although they are generally motivated by the
great fear of failing and the judgments that ensue, they are also secretly
afraid of success—for with success come responsibilities and the need
to live up to them. Success might also trigger their early fears about
standing out and excelling.
You can easily recognize such people by their checkered careers and
their short-term personal relationships. They may try to disguise the
source of their problems by seeming saintly—they look down on
success and people who have to prove themselves. Often they will
present themselves as noble idealists, propagating ideas that will never
come to pass but that will add to the saintly aura they wish to project.
Having to enact ideals might expose them to criticism or failure, so

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they choose those that are too lofty and unrealistic for the times they
live in. Do not be fooled by the holier-than-thou front they present.
Look at their actions, the lack of accomplishments, the great projects
they never start on, always with a good excuse.
If you notice traces of this attitude in yourself, a good strategy is to
take on a project of even the smallest scale, taking it all the way to
completion and embracing the prospect of failure. If you fail, you will
have already cushioned the blow because you anticipated it, and
inevitably it will not hurt as much as you had imagined. Your self-
esteem will rise because you finally tried something and finished it.
Once you diminish this fear, progress will be easy. You will want to try
again. And if you succeed, all the better. Either way, you win.
When you find others with this attitude, be very wary of forming