The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

The Elusive Woman of Perfection:
He thinks he has found the ideal
woman. She will give him what he’s been missing in his prior
relationships, whether that’s some wildness, some comfort and
compassion, or a creative spark. Although he has had few actual
encounters with the woman in question, he can imagine all kinds of
positive experiences with her. The more he thinks of her, the more he’s
certain he cannot live without her. When he talks of this perfect
woman, you will notice there’s not a lot of concrete detail about what

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makes her so perfect. If he does manage to forge a relationship, he will
quickly become disenchanted. She’s not who he thought she was; she
misled him. He then moves on to the next woman to project his fantasy
onto.
This is a common form of male projection. It contains all of the
elements he thinks he never got from his mother, never got from the
other women in his life. This ideal mate will haunt his dreams. She will
not appear to him in the form of someone he knows; she is a woman
fashioned in his imagination—often young, elusive, but promising
something great. In real life, certain types of women will tend to trigger
this projection. She is usually quite hard to pin down and conforms to
what Freud called the narcissistic woman—self-contained, not really
needing a man or anybody to complete her. She can be a bit cold at the
core and a blank screen upon which men can project whatever they
want. Alternatively, she can seem to be a free spirit, full of creative
energy but without a clear sense of her own identity. For men she
serves as a muse, a great spark to their imagination, a lure to loosen up
their own rigid mind.
The men prone to this projection often had mothers who were not
totally there for them. Perhaps such a mother expected the son to give
her the attention and validation she was not getting from her husband.
Because of this reversal, when the boy becomes a man, he feels a great
emptiness inside that he constantly needs to fill. He cannot exactly
verbalize what he wants or what he missed, hence the vagueness of his
fantasy. He will spend his life searching for this elusive figure and
never settle on a flesh-and-blood female. It’s always the next one who
will be perfect. If he falls for the narcissistic type, he will repeat the
problem he experienced with his mother, falling for a woman who
cannot give him what he wants. His own anima is a bit dreamy,
introspective, and moody, which is the behavior he will tend to exhibit
when in love.
Men of this type must recognize the nature of their pattern. What
they really need is to find and interact with a real woman, accept her
inevitable flaws, and give more of themselves. They often prefer to
chase their fantasy, because in such a scenario they are in control and
have the freedom to leave when reality sets in. To break the pattern,
such men will have to give up some of this control. When it comes to
their need for a muse, they must learn to find such inspiration from
within, to bring out more of the anima within themselves. They are too

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alienated from their own feminine spirit and need to loosen up their
own thought processes. Not needing this wildness from their fantasy
woman, they will better relate to the actual women in their life.