The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

The Lovable Rebel:
For the woman who is drawn to this type, the man
who intrigues her has a noticeable disdain for authority. He is a
nonconformist. Unlike the Devilish Romantic, this man will often be
young and not so successful. He will also tend to be outside her usual
circle of acquaintances. To have a relationship with him would be ever
so slightly taboo—certainly her father would not approve, and perhaps
not her friends or colleagues. If a relationship does ensue, however,
she will see a totally different side to him. He can’t hold down a good
job, not because he’s a rebel but because he’s lazy and ineffectual.
Despite the tattoos and shaved head, he’s quite conventional,
controlling, and domineering. The relationship will break apart, but
the fantasy will remain.
The woman with this projection often had a strong, patriarchal
father who was distant and strict. The father represents order, rules,
and conventions. He was often quite critical of his daughter—she was
never good or pretty or smart enough. She internalized this critical
voice and hears it in her head all the time. As a girl she dreamed of
rebelling and asserting herself against the father’s control, but too
often she was reduced to obeying and playing the deferential daughter.
Her desire to rebel was repressed and went into her animus, which is
quite angry and resentful. Instead of developing the rebelliousness
herself, she looks to externalize it in the form of the rebellious male. If
she senses a man might be like this, based on his appearance, she will
project fantasies that are charged and sexual. Oftentimes she chooses a
man who is relatively young because this makes him less threatening,
less of a patriarch. But his youth and immaturity make it almost
impossible to form a stable relationship, and her angry side will come
out as she grows disenchanted.
Once a woman recognizes she is prone to this projection, she must
come to terms with a simple fact: what she really wants is to develop
the independence, assertiveness, and power to disobey in herself. It is
never too late to do so, but these qualities must be built up and
developed in small steps, everyday challenges in which she practices
saying no, breaking some rules, et cetera. Becoming more assertive,
she can begin to have relationships that are more equal and satisfying.

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