The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

party realized what had happened, it was too late—he was in complete
control of the chessboard, the Master of the Senate.
Understand: Influence over people and the power that it brings
are gained in the opposite way from what you might imagine. Normally
we try to charm people with our own ideas, showing ourselves off in
the best light. We hype our past accomplishments. We promise great
things about ourselves. We ask for favors, believing that being honest
is the best policy. What we do not realize is that we are putting all of
the attention on ourselves. In a world where people are increasingly
self-absorbed, this only has the effect of making others turn more
inward in return and think more of their own interests rather than
ours.
As the story of Johnson demonstrates, the royal road to influence
and power is to go the opposite direction: Put the focus on others. Let
them do the talking. Let them be the stars of the show. Their opinions
and values are worth emulating. The causes they support are the
noblest. Such attention is so rare in this world, and people are so
hungry for it, that giving them such validation will lower their defenses
and open their minds to whatever ideas you want to insinuate.
Your first move then is always to step back and assume an inferior
position in relation to the other. Make it subtle. Ask for their advice.
People are dying to impart their wisdom and experience. Once you feel
that they are addicted to this attention, you can initiate a cycle of
favors by doing something small for them, something that saves them
time or effort. They will instantly want to reciprocate and will return
the favor without feeling manipulated or pushed. And once people do
favors for you, they will continue to work on your behalf. In doing
something for you, they have judged you worthy of this, and to stop
helping you would mean to call into question their original judgment
and their own intelligence, which people are very reluctant to do.
Working slowly this way in a group, you will expand your influence
without its seeming aggressive or even purposeful, the ultimate
disguise for your ambitions.

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The true spirit of conversation consists more in bringing out the cleverness
of others than in showing a great deal of it yourself; he who goes away
pleased with himself and his own wit is also greatly pleased with you. Most
men . . . seek less to be instructed, and even to be amused, than to be
praised and applauded.
—Jean de La Bruyère