The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Five Strategies for Becoming a Master Persuader
The following five strategies—distilled from the examples of the
greatest influencers in history—are designed to help you focus more
deeply on your targets and create the kinds of emotional effects that
will help lower people’s resistance. It would be wise to put all five into
practice.

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1. Transform yourself into a deep listener. In the normal flow
of a conversation, our attention is divided. We hear parts of what other
people are saying, in order to follow and keep the conversation going.
At the same time, we’re planning what we’ll say next, some exciting
story of our own. Or we are even daydreaming about something
irrelevant. The reason for this is simple: we are more interested in our
own thoughts, feelings, and experiences than in those of the other
person. If this were not the case, we would find it relatively easy to
listen with full attention. The usual prescription is to talk less and
listen more, but this is meaningless advice as long as we prefer our
own internal monologue. The only solution is to somehow be
motivated to reverse this dynamic.
Think of it this way: You know your own thoughts only too well. You
are rarely surprised. Your mind tends to circle obsessively around the
same subjects. But each person you encounter represents an
undiscovered country full of surprises. Imagine for a moment that you
could step inside people’s minds and what an amazing journey that
could be. People who seem quiet and dull often have the strangest
inner lives for you to explore. Even with boors and fools, you can
educate yourself as to the origins and nature of their flaws.
Transforming yourself into a deep listener will not only prove more
amusing as you open your mind to their mind but will also provide the
most invaluable lessons about human psychology.
Once you are motivated to listen, the rest is relatively simple. You
cannot make the strategic purpose behind your listening too obvious.
The other person has to feel it is a lively exchange, even though in the
end they may do 80 percent of the talking. For this purpose, you must
not barrage them with questions that make it feel like a job interview.
Instead, pay attention to their nonverbal cues. You will see their eyes
light up when certain topics are mentioned—you must guide the
conversation in that direction. People will become chatty without
realizing it. Almost everyone likes to talk about their childhood, their
family, the ins and outs of their work, or some cause that is dear to
them. An occasional question or comment plays off something they
have said.
You are deeply absorbed in what they say, but you must feel and
appear relaxed in being so. You convey that you are listening by
maintaining relatively consistent eye contact and nodding as they talk.
The best way to signal how deeply you are listening is to occasionally

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say something that mirrors what they have said, but in your own words
and filtered through your own experience. In the end, the more they
talk, the more they will reveal about their insecurities and unmet
desires.
Your goal is to make them come away from the encounter feeling
better about themselves. You have let them be the star of the show. You
have drawn out of them the wittier, more fun-loving side of their
personality. They will love you for this and will look forward to the next
encounter. As they become increasingly relaxed in your presence, you
will have great latitude for planting ideas and influencing their
behavior.