The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted
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The art of saying no
STRATEGY #8: OFFER AN
ALTERNATIVE N o one likes to be left hanging. When you say no, give the requestor another option. It’ll go a long way toward mitigating his or her disappointment at your inability or unwillingness to lend a hand. For example, suppose John, a coworker, drops by your office and asks you to help him with a project. You’re busy with your own work-related responsibilities, and therefore plan to turn him down. But rather than leaving him hanging with a simple “no,” you’d like to give him another option. Options usually come in the form of mentioning others who might be able to help in your stead. For example: I’m going to pass, John. But you might ask Tony. I know he has some downtime, and may be able to help you.” I want to help, but I’m swamped until 4:00 p.m. If this can’t wait, hit up Shelley. She may be available to help you right now.” Your project sounds complex, John. I’m focused on my own tasks, and don’t want to break away from them and lose my momentum. But I know Mark and Sandra are looking for a challenge to sink their teeth into.” If you’re currently helping the requestor with another task or project, options can also take the form of an either-or decision. For example: John, I’m barely keeping my head above water helping you with Project ABC. I can continue to help you with that one or help you with this new one. But not both. Which one would you prefer me to work on?” If helping the requestor requires handling multiple tasks, offer to handle a smaller number as an alternative. For example: John, I want to help, but I don’t have time to create the PowerPoint presentation, train the subject matter experts, and manage the test team. But I’m happy to do the PowerPoint presentation for you. Fair enough?” This approach doesn’t only work in an office environment. It works with friends, family members, neighbors, and even strangers. By offering the requestor an alternative, you’re showing him or her that you care. You’re also lessening the requestor’s disappointment at hearing you turn down his or her request. Keep in mind, you don’t owe the requestor alternatives. It’s just an act of goodwill. Nothing more. But there’s a good chance the alternative you offer, whether it’s to refer the requestor to someone else or offer a lesser degree of help, will be met with appreciation. |
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