The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted
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The art of saying no
STRATEGY #10: DESCRIBE YOUR
LACK OF BANDWIDTH T his is one of my favorite ways to say no. It leaves the requestor with no room to pressure me into accommodating his or her request. Here’s how it works: Suppose your to-do list is filled with tasks and projects that’ll take up most of your day. You know this ahead of time because you’re adept at estimating the amount of time you’ll need to complete various tasks. Now, suppose your friend asks you to help him move. You suspect the move will take at least three hours. There’s no way you can fit the job in given your to-do list. You must turn down your friend’s request. One way to do that is to simply say “I don’t have enough time to help you move.” But that’s likely to prompt your friend to try to negotiate: “C’mon, it’ll only take an hour. You can spare an hour, can’t you?” You might rightfully respond, “An hour?! It’ll take at least three hours.” At that point, your friend might counter, “Tell you what. Help me for the first hour and then you can leave.” And on and on it goes, back and forth. You can short circuit this process by describing your day to your friend and explaining why you don’t have enough time to help. For example, you might say: I’d be glad to help on any other day. But today’s bad for me. Check out my schedule. I have two big projects due at 5:00 p.m. Each one will take me two hours to finish. I also have three meetings today, each of which will last at least 45 minutes, and probably longer. And I have a conference call this afternoon, which will last 30 minutes. And at some point, I need to return several calls, respond to a bunch of emails, and fit in lunch somewhere. I literally don’t have time to help you move today.” For this approach to be effective and guilt-free, you actually need to have a busy day ahead of you. In other words, don’t just make things up to appear busy. By describing your lack of bandwidth in detail, you’re letting the requestor know that you have other responsibilities. Abandoning these responsibilities isn’t an option for you. Meanwhile, the requestor doesn’t feel as if you’re rejecting him or her. On the contrary, it becomes clear that you sincerely are unavailable to lend a hand. Few requestors will try to negotiate with you or compel you to help once they understand what’s on your plate. |
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