The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted
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The art of saying no
STRATEGY #9: SUGGEST
ANOTHER PERSON WHO'S BETTER QUALIFIED Y ou’ll sometimes receive requests that are better handled by other people. Declining these requests is good for all parties. You’re able to save time, and can focus on your own projects and interests; the requestor receives the specialized help he or she needs; and the person to whom you refer the requestor will have an opportunity to show his or her proficiency. There are many reasons to refer requestors to other people. For example, you might do so because you know someone who has more experience than you in the matter. Suppose your friend Joan, a novelist, asks you to critique her latest manuscript. Doing a full critique takes more than just time; it requires paying close attention to pacing, dialogue, point-of-view consistency, and other story elements. This is an opportunity to refer Joan to someone who’s more qualified. For instance, you might tell her: Joan, because I’ve never critiqued a manuscript, I’d rather not critique yours. It’s not an area of strength for me. But my friend Susan does this sort of thing for fun. I’ll bet she’d be happy to help.” Notice that you’re not simply saying no and leaving Joan hanging. Although you’re turning down her request, you’re helping her by referring her to a qualified, and potentially valuable, resource. Here’s another example: suppose you’re a manager and your coworker Stephen asks you to review his financial analysis on a particular project. You’re not an expert on the subject. But lucky for Stephen, you know someone who is. You might respond as follows: I don’t want to take this on because I have a poor grasp of the financial side of things. But Toby in accounting is a crack shot with this stuff. Ask him to look over your analysis. Tell him I sent you.” Again, you’re not leaving Stephen hanging without options. You’re pointing him toward someone who’s better able to help him. And you’re smoothing the introduction by telling him to mention your name to Toby. Sometimes, it makes sense to refer the requestor to someone else who’s working on a similar project or has similar interests. For example, suppose your cousin - let’s call him Franklin - asks you to go golfing with him. You have no interest in golf, and therefore want to decline the invitation. But rather than leave your cousin hanging, you mention your mutual friend Tom, who loves to golf. You might say the following to Franklin: I don’t enjoy golf, so I’m going to pass. But you remember Tom, right? He loves to golf. If he’s free, I’m sure he’d jump at the chance to hit the links with you.” By referring the requestor to someone else - notably, someone who’s better qualified than you or shares an interest with the requestor - you’re helping even though you’re declining his or her request. It’s a great way to say no without feeling guilty. And by pointing the requestor to a more suitable partner or resource, you’re doing him or her a favor. |
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