days to wean her pacifier use down from all night and several
hours a day to just two minutes a day.
However, as mentioned, a baby over five to six months may
begin to develop an emotional attachment to her binkie. Although
you can still wean her from
the pacifier after that age, it’s often
more traumatic.
6. If sucking is so important, should I wrap my baby with her hands
out so she can get to them?
Calm babies may do fine with their hands unwrapped, but fussy
babies have a hard time sucking their
fingers without accidentally
whacking themselves in the face. For these kids, having their
hands free is a frustrating tease. It’s much easier on agitated
babies to swaddle them and give them pacifiers, because they can
control their bodies and suck better
when their arms are not
flailing and disturbing them.
7. Will frequent feeding spoil my baby or make her tummy more
colicky?
Many parents, like Valerie and David, are warned that
“overfeeding” can give their baby tummy pain:
“Our baby, Christina, was screaming and would calm
only on my breast. My husband said I was making her
colicky by feeding her every time she cried. My friends
warned me I would spoil her by feeding her so often.
What should I do?”
When Valerie asked me this, I told her, first,
thank goodness
she had a method that worked to calm her baby. Second, it’s
impossible to spoil a fetus—and all babies are “fetuses” for the
first three months. Third, she needed to call her doctor to make
sure her baby was getting enough milk.
I never worry about a young baby’s frequent suckling leading to
spoiling or upset tummies. After all,
we know from our studies of
primitive cultures that babies were “originally designed” to nurse,
on and off, all day and night. However, it sounded to me like
Valerie was overlooking something very important. Although
suckling Christina was a beautiful and satisfying way to soothe
her fussiness, Valerie was not taking
advantage of the other
natural calming tools she possessed. So I recommended that she
and David learn and practice the other 4 “S’s.” That would enable
David to play a more active role and for Valerie to have a respite
from breastfeeding.
Dads are especially eager to master other calming tricks,
because they often feel left out when
the only method that calms
their baby is a milky breast. Once fathers learn how to quickly
soothe their babies, they feel much more confident caring for
them.
8. If I let my baby suckle on my breasts all night, I sleep well and it
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