Imagine your toddler is in the sandbox howling because
his friend pushed him down. What would you say?
(Remember the spokesperson and sportscaster techniques
on
this page
.) What kind of voice would you use? How
would you use your hands and face? Once he calms down,
what might you say?
Rehearse
with a Toy
After your child recovers from an upset, let him “overhear” you telling
his teddy bear what just happened … in Toddler-ese. For example:
“Psst, hey, Teddy! Juan was sad! Sad! Juan’s ice cream
fell. Gone-gone! Ice cream gone! Then I hugged
him … like this (demonstrate hug). Now Juan is happy!”
Please be patient. All new skills feel odd at first. But the more you
practice, the better you’ll get. Stick with it
for a few days and soon your
little one will look at you with delight, as if to say,
“Yea! You understand!
You’re awesome!”
When Does a Child Outgrow Toddler-ese?
Actually, Toddler-ese is
not just for toddlers.
It also works with older
kids (and even adults), because when anyone gets really upset their
eloquent left brain
shuts down and their impulsive,
impatient right
brain
takes over.
Here’s how you might echo the feelings of a frustrated six-year-
old: “
You say, ‘
Go! ’
You’re finished
with being here. Finished. You
want to leave right now!
And you’re not kidding.” This would
definitely get her attention and help defuse the situation. Then, once
she calms, you would return to
the more mature language you
usually use.
Older kids and teens (and adult men!) are particularly self-
conscious about their feelings, so you only need to mirror a little bit
of their emotion to hit their sweet spot.
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