The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

Tips for Finding the Sweet Spot with People of All Ages
In general, a person’s sweet spot is a couple of notches lower than her
level of agitation. But it varies from one person to the next. For example:
• Toddlers have really big emotions, so they usually need us to be
more demonstrative to reach their sweet spot.
• Shy kids and adult men tend to be less emotionally expressive
and may even feel mocked if their feelings are mirrored too

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closely. They do better when we underplay our response and aim
lower to find their sweet spot.
• Teens can be very dramatic, but they don’t like us to be
dramatic when we acknowledge their feelings. So “aiming
low”—by being caring, but a bit subdued—is usually the best
way to hit their sweet spot.
Sylvia told Carla that she could see she was really, really
mad, but she did it in a silly, singsong voice that made her
three-year-old even madder! When she thought about it,
Sylvia realized that by trying to distract Carla and make
her laugh at herself for getting so upset, she had prevented
Carla from feeling heard and respected. Amazingly, when
Sylvia said the same words again, but in a tone that
reflected just a bit of her daughter’s upset, Carla quieted
in seconds and looked up at her mother with real
appreciation.
Practicing the FFR
The easiest way to master this new style of responding is to try it out
with a friend who is just a little upset. Narrate your friend’s feelings with
a bit of caring emotion on your face and in your voice. Then, as you get
more comfortable with the technique, try using it with someone who is
very upset.
New habits take time to learn. So don’t worry if you find you keep
forgetting to use the FFR at first. Before you know it, you’ll be amazed
by how many compliments you get for being a great listener, a great
friend, and a great parent.