The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

Step 1. Connect with respect. Use the FFR +Toddler-ese to
acknowledge what your child wants.
Step 2. Make a “crummy” offer. Offer a 90-10 compromise (where
you get 90 percent and your child gets only 10 percent of what
she wants).
You offer a “bad deal” so your tot can immediately reject it.
Sound odd? It’s actually one of the oldest bargaining tricks in the
world! You make an offer you’re prepared to allow her to reject
so that she can feel like a tough negotiator, like she’s driving a
hard bargain.
Step 3. “Reluctantly” give in. When she refuses, come back with an
offer that gives her most of what she wants … she gets 90
percent and you get 10 percent.
Act like she’s the toughest negotiator you’ve ever seen. Pretend to be a
bit reluctant to agree (“Okay … okay … it’s not fair, but I guess you
win.”). This makes your child feel like a winner—like she’s getting the
best deal possible. (Ham it up a little!)

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Imagine you want your child, Sam, to eat ten peas and he refuses,
demanding instead his favorite crackers. Here’s how you might put the
90-10 compromise idea into action:
Step 1. Connect with respect: “Sammy says, ‘No, no! No peas!’
Sammy says ‘no peas!’ Sammy wants crackers!”
Step 2. Make a “crummy” offer: Remove two peas from the plate
but keep eight in front of him and say, “Okay, okay. You win!
You can have crackers, but first you have to eat this many peas.
Okay? Come on, eat them up!”
Sammy turns up his nose saying, “No!”
Step 3. Now give in 90 percent … and seem defeated: Pout and
wave your hands (as if to indicate I give up). Then say, “Okay!
Sammy wins! Sammy wins! I never win! You win a hundred
times! You say, ‘No peas!’ Okay! Here are your crackers….” But
a second after showing him the crackers, take them back and
say, “Uh-oh! I forgot. First, eat just one teeny, tiny, baby
pea … then, you get a bunch of crackers! ”
All good negotiators know when to talk … and when to walk. If
your toddler totally refuses your best offer, turn your back and
ignore him for a minute before trying again.
For example, if Sammy totally refuses to eat any peas (or even to
touch one!), acknowledge his refusal but then have him leave
the table so that he doesn’t get to eat the food he does want. This
puts a pause on the negotiations—so you can save face—and
helps him see that stubbornness won’t get him what he wants.
“You say no peas! Not even one! That makes Mommy sad, but
okay … you win. So no crackers for now and you go play; I’ll
check on you in a little bit. Bye-bye.”
Speed your child’s learning by giving many opportunities to
compromise. For example, offer peas a few days in a row, even
during lunch. Most kids will eventually accept a 90-10 deal. And,
gradually, life will get easier as your tot starts to like making
“win-win” deals with you.
This may seem like a big effort, but all your extra work now will

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soon lead to you having a happier—and fairer—child.