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“Benjamin knows I’m serious when I growl,” says
Claudia. “I start out with ‘Gentle, gentle’ or ‘Use your
words.’ But if that doesn’t work I rumble out a growl and
it works immediately. He knows I’m done putting up with
his behavior. I feel like a mama bear teaching her cub. In
fact, now when he’s mad he growls instead of biting.”
Do a Double Take to Show You’re Serious

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What It Is:
A double take is a neat little trick that emphasizes to
your child that you’re not kidding around.
How to Do It:
After a few seconds of clap-growling, raise a finger
(as if to indicate “Wait a second”) and look away for two seconds,
keeping your finger up the whole time. Then, look back, growl,
scowl, and repeat your message. (“No! Stop now!”)
I recommend adding a double take to your growl if:
• Your child ignores your clap-growl.
• You and your child are stuck glaring at each other (long glaring
often backfires and pushes kids to be more defiant).
• You want to emphasize your frustration and underscore that you
are the boss.
A double take can also help if you accidentally smile while
growling (even misbehaving toddlers can look so cute!). Bite your
lip, hold up a warning finger, and look away for a moment—to
regain your composure—then turn back and say in a serious voice,
“I’m not happy! I say, No! No putting jelly in your hair.”
I often use clap-growl with young children who ignore my kind
requests to stop. I clap my hands hard and g-r-o-w-l a warning deep in
my throat. That usually stops them fast … the way we immediately slow
down when a police car’s light flashes in our rearview mirror!
As your child matures, you’ll growl less. But you’ll probably continue
clapping and/or using a silent cue like a frown, raised eyebrow, or
straight index finger as a warning that your patience is up.