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Reverse Psychology: Get Your Child to Do


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The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block

Reverse Psychology: Get Your Child to Do
Something … by Telling Her Not to Do It
From 18 months on, our little cave-kids love to defy us. It makes
them feel powerful and independent. Reverse psychology is a


playful way to take advantage of this natural tendency to rebel by
telling your toddler she can’t (or shouldn’t) do something that you
really want her to do. Then she can defy your “order” and still end
up doing exactly what you wanted her to do in the first place.
… Everybody wins!
For example, if your three-year-old hates kissing you, surprise her
by ordering her not to kiss you. (Ham it up a little.… Don’t sound
serious.) Cover your face with your hands and say in a pretend-
begging voice, “Pleeeease don’t kiss me! No, no! Don’t do it!” Then
as she “defies you” to give you kisses, act unable to push her away,
and complain, “Bleah … bleah. Yucky!” as she gleefully plants hugs
and kisses all over you.
Reverse psychology doesn’t teach kids to be disobedient. It’s
really just another way of playing the boob. Toddlers know it’s a
game, that’s why they love it. They get to be their own boss, defy
you a bit, and still end up cooperating. It’s great!
Finally I ask him if I can to listen to his stomach, his knee (for another
little joke), and then his heart.
The idea of negotiating with your toddler may seem odd, and of
course you can’t compromise on some issues (running into the street,
slapping a friend, etc.). But you’ll be amazed how often negotiating can
smooth over the myriad minor troubles that arise in a day. And by the
time your tot is a teen (and a truly wily opponent), you’ll be a world-
class expert on negotiations and finding respectful win-win
compromises!
Communicating with respect, setting limits, and finding win-win
compromises can stop many annoying behaviors. But if you’ve done your
best and your child is still defying you, it’s time for you to use the next
tool: mild consequences.



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