When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal

length to get it back…even just believing in their own minds that it’s
“not over.” In that, you are giving yourself that feeling again.
Here’s a litmus test for you: what was going on in your life when you
first got together with this person? Before you were in this relationship,
did you know where your life was going? Were you confident in who
you were, what you wanted, and how you were planning to proceed
with the next few years of your life? Were you at all worried, stressed
or anxious that you hadn’t found a relationship by the “right time,” or
that you’d hit some milestone and be alone? Were you feeling lost in
your career, stressed about money, or tense about your family?

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The circumstances that existed when the relationship began can tell you
so much about the relationship itself. This is why people preach from
the gospel of “Love Yourself First” so often: when two people who are
happy, well adjusted, and pursuing their own individual goals get
together, the relationship lasts. When two people who need self-work
get together, they use one another as a Band-Aid, and then it falls apart
because ultimately, they realize: another person is not a solution.
If you are anxious about the future, you need to be the one to make a
plan. If you feel unsure about what you want, you need to sit down and
brainstorm until you come up with some ideas. If you don’t know who
you are, you need to do some soul-searching. If you feel unfulfilled, you
need to work somewhere new. If you feel stressed, you need to manage
your time, money or relationships better.
This is what you needed to do then, and it is what you are getting a