13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

EXCHANGE SELF-PITY FOR GRATITUDE
Marla Runyan is a very accomplished woman. She has a master’s degree, she’s
written a book, and she’s competed in the Olympics. She even became the first
American woman to finish the 2002 New York Marathon with an astounding
time of 2 hours, 27 minutes. What makes Marla particularly extraordinary is that
she’s accomplished all these feats despite the fact that she’s legally blind.
At age nine, Marla was diagnosed with Stargardt’s disease, a form of macular
degeneration that affects children. As her vision deteriorated, Marla discovered

---

her love for running. Over the years, Marla has proved herself to be one of the
fastest runners in the world, even though she’s never actually been able to see
the finish line.
Initially, Marla became an accomplished athlete in the Paralympics. She
competed in 1992 and then again in 1996. Not only did she earn a total of five
gold medals and one silver medal, she also set several world records. But Marla
didn’t stop there.
In 1999, she entered the Pan American Games and she won the 1,500-meter
race. In 2000, she became the first legally blind athlete to ever compete in the
Olympics. She was the first American to cross the finish line in the 1,500-meter
race and she placed eighth overall.
Marla doesn’t see her blindness as a disability. In fact, she chooses to view it
as a gift that allows her to become successful in both long-and short-distance
races. In discussing her blindness in her book, No Finish Line: My Life as I See
It, Marla writes, “It not only has forced me to prove my competence but also
pushed me to achieve. It has given me gifts, such as will and commitment that I
use every day.” Marla doesn’t focus on what her vision loss took from her.
Instead, she chooses to feel grateful for what her vision impairment actually
gave her.
While feeling sorry for yourself is about thinking I deserve better, gratitude is
about thinking I have more than I deserve. Experiencing gratitude requires some
extra effort, but it isn’t hard. Anyone can learn to become more grateful by
developing new habits.
Start to acknowledge other people’s kindness and generosity. Affirm the good
in the world and you will begin to appreciate what you have.
You don’t have to be rich, wildly successful, or have the perfect life to feel
grateful. A person who earns $34,000 a year may think he doesn’t have much
money but he is actually among the richest 1 percent of people in the world. If
you’re reading this book, it means you’re more fortunate than the nearly one
billion people in the world who can’t read, many of whom will be stuck in a life
of poverty.
Look for those little things in life that you can so easily take for granted and
work toward increasing your feelings of gratitude. Here are a few simple habits
that can help you focus on what you have to be grateful for:

---

• Keep a gratitude journal. Each day write down at least one thing you’re
grateful for. It could include being grateful for simple pleasures, like having
clean air to breathe or seeing the sun shine, or major blessings like your job
or family.
• Say what you’re grateful for. If you aren’t likely to keep up with writing in a
journal, make it a habit to say what you’re grateful for. Find one of life’s gifts
to be grateful for each morning when you wake up and each night before you
go to sleep. Say the words out loud, even if it’s just to yourself, because
hearing the words of gratitude will increase your feelings of gratitude.
• Change the channel when you’re experiencing self-pity. When you notice that
you’re starting to feel sorry for yourself, shift your focus. Don’t allow
yourself to continue thinking that life isn’t fair or that life should be different.
Instead, sit down and list the people, circumstances, and experiences in life
that you can be thankful for. If you keep a journal, refer to it and read it
whenever self-pity begins to set in.
• Ask others what they’re grateful for. Strike up conversations about gratitude
to help you discover what other people feel thankful for. Hearing what others
feel grateful for can remind you of more areas of your life that deserve
gratitude.
• Teach kids to be grateful. If you’re a parent, teaching your children to be
grateful for what they have is one of the best ways to keep your own attitude
in check. Make it a habit each day to ask your children what they’re grateful
for. Have everyone in the family write down what they’re feeling grateful for
and place it in a gratitude jar or hang it on a bulletin board. This will give
your family a fun reminder to incorporate gratitude into your daily lives.
GIVING UP SELF-PITY WILL MAKE YOU
STRONGER

---

Jeremiah Denton served as a U.S. naval aviator during the Vietnam War. In
1965, his plane was shot down and he was forced to eject from his aircraft. He
was captured by the North Vietnamese and was taken as a prisoner of war.
Commander Denton and the other officers maintained command over their
fellow prisoners even as they were beaten, starved, and tortured on a daily basis.
Commander Denton was often placed in solitary confinement for urging other
prisoners to resist the North Vietnamese attempts to gain information from them.
But that didn’t stop Commander Denton. He devised strategies to communicate
with the other prisoners by using signs, tapping on walls, and coughing in
sequence.
Ten months after his capture, he was chosen to participate in a televised
interview that was used as propaganda. While answering questions, he pretended
as though the bright lights from the cameras were bothering his eyes as he began
blinking T-O-R-T-U-R-E in Morse code to secretly send the message that he and
his fellow prisoners were being mistreated by their captors. Throughout the
interview, he continued to express his support for the U.S. government.
He was released in 1973 after seven years in captivity. When he stepped off
the plane as a free man, he said, “We are honored to have had the opportunity to
serve our country under difficult circumstances. We are profoundly grateful to
our commander in chief and to our nation for this day. God bless America.”
After retiring from the military in 1977, he was elected to serve as senator for
Alabama.
Despite being placed in the worst circumstances imaginable, Jeremiah Denton
didn’t waste time feeling sorry for himself. Instead, he maintained his composure
and focused on doing whatever he could to manage the situation. Even when he
was released, he chose to feel grateful that he was able to serve his country,
rather than pity himself for the time he’d lost.
Researchers studied the differences that occur when people focus on their
burdens versus focusing on what they’re grateful for. Simply acknowledging a
few things you feel grateful for each day is a powerful way to create change. In
fact, gratitude not only impacts your psychological health, it can also affect your
physical health. A 2003 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology found:

---

• People who feel gratitude don’t get sick as often as others. They have better
immune systems and report fewer aches and pains. They have lower blood
pressure and they exercise more often than the general population. They take
better care of their health, sleep longer, and even report feeling more
refreshed upon waking.
• Gratitude leads to more positive emotions. People who feel grateful
experience more happiness, joy, and pleasure on a daily basis. They even feel
more awake and energetic.
• Gratitude improves social lives. Grateful people are more willing to forgive
others. They behave in a more outgoing fashion and feel less lonely and
isolated. They are also more likely to help other people and to behave in a
generous and compassionate manner.