13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

TROUBLESHOOTING AND COMMON TRAPS
If you allow self-pity to take hold when you’re dealing with stress, you’ll put off
working on a solution. Watch out for red flags that you’re allowing yourself to
feel self-pity and take a proactive approach to change your attitude at the first
sign of feeling sorry for yourself.
WHAT’S HELPFUL
Giving yourself a reality check so you don’t exaggerate how bad the
situation really is
Replacing overly negative thoughts about your situation with more
realistic thoughts
Choosing to actively problem-solve and work on improving your
situation
Getting active and behaving in a way that makes you less likely to feel

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sorry for yourself, even when you don’t feel like it
Practicing gratitude every day
WHAT’S NOT HELPFUL
Allowing yourself to believe that your life is worse than most other
people’s lives
Indulging in exaggeratedly negative thoughts about how difficult your
life is
Remaining passive about the situation and focusing only on how you
feel, rather than what you can do
Declining to participate in experiences and activities that could help you
feel better
Staying focused on what you don’t have rather than what you do have

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CHAPTER 2
THEY DON’T GIVE AWAY THEIR POWER
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our
health, and our happiness.
—DALE CARNEGIE
Lauren was convinced her overbearing, meddling mother-in-law was going to
ruin her marriage, if not her entire life. Although she had thought her mother-in-
law, Jackie, was annoying in the past, it wasn’t until she and her husband had
two children together that she found her to be unbearable.
Jackie usually made several unannounced visits each week, and she often
stayed for several hours at a time. Lauren found those visits to be intrusive on
their family time because she only had so much time with her girls between the
time she came home from work and the time they went to bed.
But what really bothered Lauren was the way Jackie always tried to
undermine her authority with the girls. Jackie would often say things to the
children like “You know, a little TV won’t hurt you. I don’t know why your
mother always says you can’t watch it” or “I’d let you have dessert but your
mother’s convinced sugar is bad for your health.” She sometimes lectured

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Lauren about her “new age parenting” and reminded her that she allowed her
children to watch TV and eat sweets and they seemed to turn out just fine.
Lauren always responded to Jackie’s comments with a polite nod and a smile,
but on the inside, she was seething. She grew resentful toward Jackie and she
often took it out on her husband. But whenever Lauren complained to her
husband about his mother, he’d say something like “Well, you know how she is,”
or “Just ignore her comments. She means well.” Lauren found comfort in
complaining to her girlfriends who had affectionately named Jackie the
“monster-in-law.”
But one week, everything seemed to come to a head when Jackie suggested
Lauren should start exercising more because she looked like she had gained a
little weight. That comment pushed Lauren over the edge. She stormed out of the
house and spent the night at her sister’s. The next day, she still didn’t feel ready