A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

Mother: Jackson, how was your day at school? 
Jackson: DON’T ASK ME THAT QUESTION?!!! SHUT UP!!! 
Mother: Sounds like you can’t talk about that right 
now. 
Jackson: I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW! 
Mother: No problem, maybe you’ll be able to talk 
about it later. 
How quickly will your child reliably use this new vo-
cabulary? Hard to say. But if this is the skill your child is 
lacking, this is the way to teach it. 

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184 
The Explosive Child 
Considering a Range of Possible Solutions 
As you know, the third step of Plan B is the Invitation. 
This is the step where you and your child are brainstorm-
ing potential solutions to the problem (defined by the two 
concerns that were put on the table in the first two steps). 
As you read in Chapter 6, if your child is unable to think 
of any solutions, that’s a clear sign that he’s, well, having 
trouble thinking of solutions. Of course, it could be a sign 
that you’ve never given him the chance to think of solu-
tions. So it’s possible that your child’s skills in this area are 
better than you think. If his solution-generating skills 
aren’t so hot, it’s possible that they will improve simply by 
hearing you propose potential solutions numerous times. 
But some kids truly don’t have the slightest idea 
where to start when it comes to thinking of solutions. So 
let’s give them an idea of where to start. Hard to believe, 
but it turns out that the vast majority of solutions to 
problems encountered by human beings fall into one of 
three general categories: (1) ask for help; (2) meet halfway/ 
give a little; and (3) do it a different way. These categories 
can be very helpful to children whose pathways are in 
the language-processing domain, for they simplify the 
language of problem solving and can be taught through 
pictures (if words are too cumbersome). The categories 
can also be helpful to children who become easily over-

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Teach Your Children Well 
185 
whelmed by the universe of potential solutions. First 
you’ll want to introduce the categories to your child at 
an opportune moment; then, when you’re trying to gen-
erate solutions using Plan B, use the categories as the 
framework for considering solutions: