Sandi Toksvig, ‘Proving your identity to a bank can be like
proving you were abducted by aliens’, Sunday Telegraph,
September 19, 2010
A (1) The other day I phoned my bank, which, in essence, sounds a simple
operation. (2) Yet even the least cynical among you will sniff the beginning of
a saga. (3) The bank had made a slight error and I wished to assist them in
correcting it.
B (1) After making many numeric choices I was asked to input the long number
across the front of my debit card on my telephone keypad. (2) This takes time as I
have to find the card, then my glasses, then juggle the phone, the card, the glasses.
(3) I found, I juggled, I inputted and finally spoke to someone whose first question
was: ‘What is the long number across the front of your debit card?’ (4) I know better
than to reply: ‘It’s the one that I just inputted’ so the glasses went back on, I juggled
the phone, I repeated the number.
C (1) The operator was not satisfied. (2) Perhaps she thought that she could hear
the washing machines quietly laundering money in the background. (3) ‘What is your
date of birth?’ she asked.
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