John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

essential that she feel safe to go through this cycle. Otherwise she works hard at pretending 
that everything is always all right and suppresses her negative feelings. 
 
When a woman doesn't feel safe to go into her well, her only alternative is to avoid intimacy 
and sex or to suppress and numb her feelings through addictions like drinking, overeating, 
overworking, or over caretaking. Even with her addictions, however, she periodically will fall 
into her well and her feelings may come up in a most uncontrolled fashion. 
 
You probably know stories of couples who never fight or argue and then suddenly to 
everyone's surprise they decide to get a divorce. In many of these cases, the woman has 
suppressed her negative feelings to avoid having fights. As a result she becomes numb and 
unable to feel her love. 
 
When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love 
dies. Avoiding arguments and fights certainly is healthy but not by suppressing feelings. In 
chapter 9 we will explore how to avoid arguments without suppressing feelings. 
 
Emotional Housecleaning 
 
When a woman's wave crashes is a time of emotional cleansing or emotional housecleaning. 
Without this cleansing or emotional catharsis a woman slowly loses her ability to love and to 
grow m love. Through controlled repression of her feelings her wave nature is obstructed, and 
she gradually becomes unfeeling and passionless over time. 
 
Some women who avoid dealing with their negative emotions and resist the natural wave 
motion of their feelings experience premenstrual syndrome (PMS). There is a strong correlation 
between PMS and the inability to cope with negative feelings in a positive way. In some cases