defensive, while a big mistake makes him much more defensive. Sometimes women wonder
why a man doesn't say he is sorry for a big mistake. The answer is he is afraid of not being
forgiven. It is too painful to acknowledge that he has failed her in some way. Instead of saying
he is sorry he may become angry with her for being upset and give her penalty points.
When a man is in a negative state, if she can treat him like a passing tornado and lie low, after
the tornado has passed he will give her an abundance of bonus points for not making him
wrong or for not trying to change him. If she tries to stop the tornado it will create havoc, and
he will blame her for interfering.
This is a new insight for many woman because on Venus when someone is upset the Venusians
never ignore her or even consider lying low. Tornadoes don't exist on Venus. When someone is
upset everyone gets involved with one another and tries to understand what is bothering her by
asking a lot of questions. When a tornado passes on Mars everyone finds a ditch and lies low.
WHEN MEN GIVE PENALTY POINTS
It helps greatly when women understand that men score points differently. That men give
penalty points is very confusing to women and doesn't make it safe for women to share their
feelings. Certainly, it would be wonderful if an men could see how unfair penalty points are
and change overnight-but change takes time. What can be reassuring for a woman, however, is
to know that just as a man quickly gives out the penalty points he also takes them back.
A man giving penalty points is similar to a woman feeling resentful when she gives more than
he does. She subtracts his score from hers and gives him a zero. At such times a man can just be
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