The second step of this process is to let him realize that he can say no and still receive your
love. When he feels that he can say no when you ask for more, he will feel free to say yes or no.
Keep in mind that men are much more willing to say yes if they have the freedom to say no.
It's important that women learn both how to ask and how to accept no for an answer. Women
usually intuitively feet what their partner's response will be even before they ask. If they sense
that he will resist their request, they won't even bother asking. Instead, they will feel rejected.
He, of course, will have no idea what happened - all this has gone on in her head.
In step 2, practice asking for support in all those situations where you would want to ask but
don't because you feel his resistance. Go ahead and ask for support even if you sense his
resistance; even if you know he will say no.
For example, a wife might say to her husband, who is focused on watching the news, "Would
you go to the grocery store and pick up some salmon for dinner?" When she asks this question,
she is already prepared for him to say no. He is probably completely surprised because she has
never interrupted him with a request like this before. He will probably make some excuse like
"I am right in the middle of watching the news. Can't you do it?"
She may feel like saying "Sure I could do it. But I am always doing everything around here. I
don't like being your servant. I want some help!"
When you ask and sense you will get a rejection, prepare yourself for the no and have a ready
answer like "OK." If you want to be really Martian in your response, you could say "no
problem"-that would be music to his ears. A simple "OK" is fine, however.
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