As you have probably noticed by now, what you think has been asking is not asking to
Martians-they hear something else. It takes a conscious effort to make these little but
significant changes in the way you ask for support. I suggest practicing at least three months
correcting the way you ask for things before moving on to step two. Other request statements
that work are "Would you please ... ?" and "Would you mind ... ?"
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Start out in step 1 by being aware of how many times you don't ask for support. Become aware
of how you do ask when you do. With this increased awareness, then practice asking for what
he’s already giving you. Remember to be brief and direct. Then give him lots of appreciation
and thanks.
Common Questions About Asking for Support
This first step can be difficult. Here are some common questions, which give clues to both the
objections and the resistance that women may have.
1. Question. A woman might feel, "Why should I have to ask him when I don't require him to
ask me?"
Answer: Remember, men are from Mars; they are different. By accepting and working with his
differences you will get what you need. If, instead, you try to change him he will stubbornly
resist. Although asking for what you want is not second nature to Venusians, you can do it
without giving up who you are. When he feels loved and appreciated he will gradually become
more willing to offer his support without being asked. That is a later stage.
2. Question. A woman may feel, "Why should I appreciate what he does when I am doing
more?"
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