neglect it may take a while truly to heal all the accumulated resentments, but it is possible. In
chapter 11, I will discuss easy and practical techniques to heal these resentments.
Quite often, when one partner makes a positive change the other will also change. This
predictable coincidence is one of those magical things about life. When the student is ready the
teacher appears. When the question is asked then the answer is heard. When we are truly ready
to receive then what we need will become available. When the Venusians were ready to receive,
the Martians were ready to give.
LEARNING TO GIVE
A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He compensates
for this fear by focusing on increasing his power and competence. Success, achievement, and
efficiency are foremost in his life. Before they discovered the Venusians, the Martians were so
concerned with these qualities that they didn't care about anything or anybody else. A man
appears most uncaring when he is afraid.
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving. To extend himself in giving to
others means to risk failure, correction, and disapproval. These consequences are most painful
because deep inside his unconscious he holds an incorrect belief that he is not good enough.
This belief was formed and reinforced in childhood every time he thought he was expected to
do better. When his accomplishments went unnoticed or were unappreciated, deep in his
unconscious he began forming the incorrect belief that he was not good enough.
A man is particularly vulnerable to this incorrect belief. It generates within him the fear of
failing. He wants to give but is afraid he will fail, so he doesn't try. If his biggest fear is
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