Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis. Pdfdrive com

PARTIAL ANALYSIS
Aim: Mutual admiration.
Roles: Poet, Appreciative subject.
Social Paradigm: Adult-Adult.
Adult (male): ‘See how good I can make you feel.’
Adult (female): ‘My, but you make me feel good.’
Psychological Paradigm: Child (male): ‘See what phrases I can create.’
Child (female): ‘My, but you’re creative.’
Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – creativity and reassurance of
attractiveness. (2) External Psychological – avoids rejection for unnecessary
sexual advances. (3) Internal Social – ‘Cavalier’. (4) External Social – these may
be resigned. (5) Biological – mutual stroking. (6) Existential – I can live
gracefully.
3 · HAPPY TO HELP
Thesis. White is consistently helpful to other people, with some ulterior motive.
He may be doing penance for past wickedness, covering up for present
wickedness, making friends in order to exploit them later or seeking prestige.
But whoever questions his motives must also give him credit for his actions.
After all, people can cover up for past wickedness by becoming more wicked,
exploit people by fear rather than generosity and seek prestige for evil ways
instead of good ones. Some philanthropists are more interested in competition
than in benevolence: ‘I gave more money (works of art, acres of land) than you
did.’ Again, if their motives are questioned, they must nevertheless be given
credit for competing in a constructive way, since there are so many people who
compete destructively. Most people (or peoples) who play ‘Happy to Help’ have
both friends and enemies, both perhaps justified in their feelings. Their enemies
attack their motives and minimize their actions, while their friends are grateful
for their actions and minimize their motives. Therefore so-called ‘objective’
discussions of this game are practically nonexistent. People who claim to be
neutral soon show which side they are neutral on.
This game, as an exploitative manoeuvre, is the basis for a large proportion
of ‘public relations’ in America. But the customers are glad to become involved,
and it is perhaps the most pleasant and constructive of the commercial games. In

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another connection, one of its most reprehensible forms is a three-handed family
game in which the mother and father compete for the affection of their offspring.
But even here, it should be noted, the choice of ‘Happy to Help’ removes some
of the discredit, since there are so many unpleasant ways of competing available
– for example, ‘Mummy is sicker than daddy,’ or ‘Why do you love him more
than you love me?’
4 · HOMELY SAGE
Thesis. This is properly a script rather than a game, but it has gamelike aspects.
A well-educated and sophisticated man learns as much as he can about all sorts
of things besides his own business. When he reaches retirement age, he moves
from the big city where he held a responsible position to a small town. There it
soon becomes known that people can go to him with their problems of whatever
kind, from a knock in the engine to a senile relative, and that he will help them
himself if he is competent or else refer them to qualified experts. Thus he soon
finds his place in his new environment as a ‘Homely Sage’, making no
pretences, but always willing to listen. In its best form it is played by people who
have taken the trouble to go to a psychiatrist to examine their motives, and to
learn what errors to avoid before setting themselves up in this role.