How To Quit Porn
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Dr. David Smith - How To Quit Porn (2nd Edition)
Quit immediately. As time goes on, neural pathways become strengthened. As you get older, it
becomes harder to break bad habits. Additionally, the sooner you quit, the sooner you get to enjoy the benefits of being free from addiction. Section 2: Initial Steps to Quit Attitude and Mental Preparation The mindset that you have when you decide to quit is key. Mentally prepare yourself to go all in. In the case of porn addiction, this means no porn or porn substitutes, no masturbation, and for the time being, no sex at all. Shun all sexual thoughts as best as you can. Eliminate any behaviors that will make you aroused. Never even take a peek at sexual imagery or literature. Doing this will train and strengthen your mind to resist, and ultimately lead to recovery in the quickest possible time. The purpose of quitting in such a deliberate and extreme way is to permanently sever the link between porn and sexuality. Sexuality is such a positive and beautiful thing when it is done in a correct way, which makes you happy and healthy. Porn on the other hand, is exclusively bad, leading to unhappiness, false ideals, cravings, and much more as previously discussed. This link must be severed to reach a state of healthy sexuality. When you can have sex without thinking about porn, that is good. By that point, the thought of porn will only disgust and not arouse, and you will be thinking of it as something small, a distant ugly reminder of the past. But initially, do not use healthy sex as a substitute for porn cravings, as that ultimately leads down the same road as porn use. Take a strong stand in your recovery and make recovery the number one priority in your life. A clean quit ensures the minimum possible recovery time. Psychologist B. F. Skinner used a series of experiments to understand the reward system in mice. He designed a lever that mice could press to dispense treats and divided the mice into two groups. One group of mice always received a reward from pressing the lever, while another group of mice randomly received a reward. Once the reward was taken away, Skinner observed that the mice who received a variable schedule of rewards would continue pressing the lever far longer than those who were used to always receiving a reward from the lever. This study confirms that an addiction must be quit in full. This is the easiest and best way to do it. When you make a clean break from your past, your brain recognizes that the regime has changed and that there is no more artificial stimulation, permanently. But if sometimes you have a relapse and get the chemicals in your brain and other times you do not, you will be going after it longer. Even long after you make a decision to quit porn, you will still experience cravings, which makes it harder to quit, and extends this cycle if you end up relapsing. Therefore, a firm and permanent break is the most efficient and least painful way to recover from any addiction. Tell yourself why you are doing this. Know that you will never watch porn again in your life. You don’t want to go back into such a depressing, meaningless, and wasteful behavior. Don’t think of this as a burden or some kind of loss, that the desire to watch porn will be something you will have to restrain yourself against. Porn is NOT a forbidden fruit: it is pure poison. You can and will escape such a powerful and menacing force. Through abstaining, you take away its power over you. You will ascend to a higher state of being and perception, free from the shackles and pain that it caused. You have suffered enough and will rise above. Do not try any form of limiting your porn consumption, for example, only watching porn once a week. This only makes porn more desirable and does not help you escape. Learn to enjoy the feeling of going cold turkey. You may experience an empty and almost painful feeling of boredom, some kind of dissatisfaction sometimes. Learn to push through. Each time you encounter an urge and resist, you become a little bit stronger. Porn addiction does not occur naturally. You are not born an addict, rather your state is simply a result of having been conditioned to crave a stimulant that makes you feel a certain way. If you never smoked, you will never crave a cigarette. If you’ve never watched porn, you will never crave porn. Don’t live your life as a slave to these cravings that you should never even have. It’s as simple as that. Fight against the evil forces that make your life miserable. Enjoy the fight. Nothing is holding you back. If you put in work and follow the right steps, you will succeed. Don’t put sex on a pedestal. It is not the goal of life. Let it go. The power, energy, fulfillment, and presence of mind you get when quitting porn permanently makes it worth it. If you go on a long streak, you will feel the benefits and want more. On the other hand, no matter how much sex you have, it will never lead to happiness. Sex is designed to be craved the more you have it. Just forget about it and loose that extraneous desire. You are happier when you are free. People who are smart and sensitive often get caught up in this problem. It hurts me to see good and innocent people stuck in such a sick mindset and suffer significantly because of it. Each person’s addiction is different. While I dedicate my life to helping as many people as possible, when it comes down to it, each person is only really able to help themselves. The following sections discuss what you need to do. Blocking Any and All Sources The first and most important step you need to do is block porn entirely. Make it impossible for you to view porn ever again. Do this for your phone, computer, and any other devices you use. Be thorough in your initial coverage and test for holes. While this topic is debated in reboot communities, I will weigh in and say that it is 100% necessary to block your ability to watch porn ever again. Though it depends on the severity of the addiction, be on the safe side and block everything. If one’s situation is less severe, a filter may be unnecessary, and willpower may be enough. However, when addiction has become ingrained in one’s mind and behavior over several years, one must use a web filter to return to normalcy. Porn addiction is not a weakness; it is a disease. Addiction has changed the way your mind works. It’s not an issue of lack of self-control or discipline. Even if you put in a week of mental discipline to avoid watching, a lapse in judgment for just a few seconds can cause a serious slip up. This applies to any addiction – being in proximity to the source of the addiction makes it almost impossible to resist. Imagine being a drug addict trying to recover, but having drugs just in front of you on your desk permanently. It’s very hard to not give in over long periods of time. Eventually a relapse will occur. Distancing yourself, even if it is forced, will aid in your recovery to return to normal. Think of it as training wheels. For severe addicts, they are 100% necessary, and you can decide over time whether you still want to keep them or no longer need them. At the beginning, you can’t risk messing up, as this may cause you to slip down the spiral of addiction. The famous story of Ulysses and the sirens in Homer’s Odyssey is a good metaphor for why a blocker is necessary. The sirens (tempting women-like creatures, equivalent to the people in porn) would lure sailors in with their songs, resulting in the sailors’ deaths. When passing by the sirens, Ulysses tied himself to the ship’s mast to avoid being tempted by their song, knowing how difficult the situation would be. Eventually he heard the sirens sing. He fought but was not able to take off the restrains that he put himself under. The Sirens then died after this encounter (no more power over anything), exactly how the need for porn will die when it is properly resisted. — Use a web blocker with a password that makes it impossible to access certain sites on that device. Then forget the password to your blocker or give it to somebody else if you might need to access certain sites in the future. You want to make it impossible to easily unblock these websites. Make it as difficult as possible to buy yourself extra time when you get cravings. I will not recommend a particular product, but there are many that get the job done. K9 Web Protection used to be a free and almost perfect solution but is now no longer available for download. On Apple devices, the built-in Parental Controls functionality is acceptable. It is worth spending money to get a good web blocker, as doing so may give you far more control over your browsing habits and life overall. If you are able to get around a web blocker, have multiple layers of protection. Use multiple web blockers to ensure that they will not be easily circumvented. For an extra layer of protection, add anti-porn and web block browser extensions. Extensions are not sufficient on their own because they are easy to remove. When deciding what websites to block, the key is to block search engines, social media (including all video and image sharing websites), and the porn sites you visit. Block ALL of them. These websites are not as necessary for your life as you might think. Search engines are not very child-friendly and will display explicit images in search results. They are how pornographic content is discovered. Block every single search engine, from Bing and Baidu, to Yahoo and Yandex. When you block search engines, you take away the source of finding pornographic material. Many web blockers have built-in abilities to filter the prominent porn websites. Blocking search engines makes the porn sites that would have slipped through the blocker now almost impossible to find. A common question is where to draw the line on what to block? It’s true that some content is borderline porn. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. This includes blocking Instagram and YouTube, and every site in which porn-like content can be found if you search for it. Block anything that can be considered a porn substitute, including art and stories. Seemingly innocent content like social media has made the problem much worse. Now it is easy to fall in love with images or video of someone, but it’s a completely false ideal. This is becoming common among youth, where their first crush is someone that they’ve never met in real life. Be thorough in your coverage. If you are able to find porn after you try to block everything, plug that source and get rid of it. Web blocking can be an iterative approach, as it is hard to block everything at once. This is important – you have to make sure the ship has no leaks, otherwise water will come in non-stop from that one gap. You must block any and all sites that have the potential to cause a relapse. If they are blocked properly, a few minutes of struggling will not be enough to result in a relapse. If you don’t block them, you are just keeping the gates open for when porn decides to hijack your brain, and this can be an instant defeat before you are even aware. Multiple failures to resist can be detrimental to your recovery. — Think about how the craving you get for porn is discounted over time. The only reason anyone would watch porn is the immediacy of the chemical rush in the brain. Relapses occur at certain moments in time when the craving to immediately watch porn outweighs concerns about the future. But having to go through the web blockers and delay watching porn by 15 minutes will not be beat concerns about the future, so you won’t relapse in these situations. This shows the power of instant gratification (and how a small delay can save you from relapsing). Instant gratification must be resisted to lead to a long-term better result for your life. Web blockers will force this, making it impossible to access these websites. The problem is porn, which has much less to deal with willpower and self-discipline than you might think. If you are unable to ever view it again, obviously your addiction will weaken. Hypothetically, if you were to lock even the most severe drug addict in a room for a year without any supply, they will lose their addiction and their brain will approach that of a normal human. These are extreme measures yet completely necessary, and the pain of suddenly going cold turkey pales in comparison to the alternative, a lifetime of misery and suffering. Even if you are able to successfully resist porn, it will not make porn less arousing. If you were to watch porn again in the future, you will be affected in the same way and lose your progress (even if you had been clean for a meaningful amount of time). The purpose of rebooting is to change the way you act, but it will not reduce the twisted appeal or power of porn. When recovering from addiction, some things are in your control, while other things are outside your control. Blocking porn is low-hanging fruit you can implement that will make a big difference. Understanding and putting this step in place correctly will be critical and make a great deal of difference in your future outcome. In addition to blocking websites, you can try to reduce the time you spend on and the appeal of your devices. Change the display color of your device to black and white. This takes away the screen’s appeal considerably. Also, consider getting rid of your devices that you don’t need, or leaving them outside your house. Remember: you control your devices, not the other way around. Cultivating Healthy Habits and Behaviors There are things you should and should not do. Here is an inspired mosaic of helpful steps and tips, drawing upon a vast collection of wisdom and experience, to advise you on actions that you can take. Download 0.56 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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