Ielts essay Clinic Targeted Feedback pdf 2 Your Main Body Paragraphs

of the inhabitants. It is important for the community leaders to enforce a rule 
on the local to visit their museum enlightening them of the important 
associated with the visual aid as related to education. Examples is the history 
student who need to see in physical what is being thought in the school. 
Advice- This response gives a solution to the issue instead of explaining the 
issue. 
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Explanation_Student_sample_Locals_put_on_one_side_visiting_museums_and_historical_sites_as_they_have_the'>Explanation
Student sample
Locals put on one side visiting museums and historical sites as they have the 
opportunity to see them any time they want. This accessibility puts these visits 
back in the priority list. For example; if there is a sale both in malls and 
museums at the weekend, locals prefer go shopping instead of visiting 
museums as they last there forever but clothes. 
Advice- One short sentence is normally not enough to fully explain your main 
idea. Requires further development. 
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Explanation
Student sample
Local people are less interested in sightseeing mainly because they feel like 
they can do it any time. They do not have rigid time limits to follow and 
therefore it is not in their bucket list. There is always something more 
important to do right now than going to a local museum where they probably 
were on a school trip. For instance, a great deal of natives do not even know 
about opening times of a certain site whereas they are more likely to do it