Women generally do not understand how Martians cope with stress. They expect men to open
up and talk about all their problems the way Venusians do. When a man is stuck in his cave, a
woman resents his not being more open. She feels hurt when he turns on the news or goes
outside to play some basketball and ignores her.
To expect a man who is in his cave instantly to become open, responsive, and loving is as
unrealistic as expecting a woman who is upset immediately to calm down and make complete
sense. It is a mistake to expect a man to always be in touch with his loving feelings j ust as it is
a mistake to expect a woman's feelings to always be rational and logical.
When Martians go to their caves they tend to forget that their friends may be having problems
too. An instinct takes over that says before you can take care of anybody else, you must first
take care of yourself. When a woman sees a man react in this way, she generally resists it and
resents the man.
She may ask for his support in a demanding tone, as if she has to fight for her rights with this
uncaring man. By remembering that men are from Mars, a woman can correctly interpret his
reaction to stress as his coping mechanism rather than as an expression of how he feels about
her. She can begin to cooperate with him to get what she needs instead of resisting him.
On the other side, men generally have little awareness of how distant they become when they
are in the cave. As a man recognizes how withdrawing into his cave may affect women, he can
be compassionate when she feels neglected and unimportant. Remembering that women are
from Venus helps him to be more understanding and respectful of her reactions and feelings.
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